More Insights from Adam and Eve

I just keep coming back to this story of Adam and Eve, don’t I? No wonder the retelling of that story is such an integral part of our temple worship—there are so many important concepts to learn from it.

I went to the temple last week, and it hit me again how much the story of Adam and Eve teaches us about agency. Even though a lot of us are still trying to hold onto it, the story of Adam and Eve—especially our latter-day understanding of it as explained by Lehi in 2 Nephi 2 in the Book of Mormon and Moses in Moses 4-5 in the Pearl of Great Price—actually invites us out of our black and white obedience framework of faith and into a more mature, nuanced understanding of what it means to have faith, follow God, and use our agency. 

In the temple retelling of the story, Satan approaches Adam first about eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (which, I had never realized before, is not actually recounted in any scriptural account; in the scriptural accounts Satan just approaches Eve). Adam is very letter of the law obedient and isn’t willing to listen to any of Satan’s arguments about why he should eat the fruit. God told me not to, so I’m not going to. End of story. This is the attitude that someone in the black and white obedience framework of faith really loves and identifies with. With that interpretation of what faith and obedience means, Eve was wrong not to have that same attitude of exact, unquestioning obedience, and because she didn’t, she and Adam were punished for it.

There are a lot of other Christian faiths that accept this interpretation of events: that the Fall of Adam and Eve was a mistake that we are still paying the price for. That things would have been better if Eve had never eaten the fruit and Adam and Eve had stayed in the Garden of Eden. 

Lehi tells us though in 2 Nephi 2:22-25:

22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.

23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.

24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

Based on Lehi’s teachings about the Fall, the Fall of Adam and Eve was actually a necessary component of God’s plan for His children, not a mistake. If Adam’s unquestioning obedience to the commandment not to eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil had ruled the day, progress would not have been possible. Adam and Eve would have been unable to learn and progress, and none of God’s other spirit children would have had the opportunity to come down to earth to get physical bodies and learn and progress.

When Satan approached Eve to try to get her to eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, Eve didn’t reject him outright. She questioned his motives, but when he explained what the result of eating the fruit of that tree would be—that her eyes would be opened, and that it would make her wise like God, knowing good and evil, and that this was the only way to attain that knowledge and wisdom—Eve realized that the fruit of that tree was the key to progressing like God wanted them to and that death and suffering were worth the sacrifice to gain that knowledge. Eve did the essential work of agency: she seriously considered her choices and priorities, and she made a decision based on her own understanding of what would be the best choice for her to achieve what she most desired. 

After eating of the fruit herself, Eve approached Adam to offer some of the fruit to him. Approached by his wife rather than a stranger, Adam at first reiterates his stance of exact, unquestioning obedience regarding eating the fruit. Then Eve explains to Adam what the results of him not partaking of the fruit will be—that she will be cast out of the Garden of Eden and he will remain alone in the Garden of Eden, preventing them from following the commandment God had given them to multiply and replenish the earth. Adam is also given the opportunity to think through his choices and priorities and what is most important to him. And he realizes the opportunity to fulfill God’s commandment to be with Eve and multiply and replenish the earth is very important to him—more important than the commandment not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and avoid death. So he also uses his agency to choose to eat of the fruit of the tree.

Then we see the aftermath of Adam and Eve’s use of agency. In the temple film, right after Adam eats the fruit, they hear God’s voice as He prepares to visit them in the Garden of Eden. Satan points out to them that they are naked and encourages them to hide from God. This reminded me of how Satan encourages us to act when we make mistakes. He wants us to feel shame and hide the things we’ve done that we’re not proud of or that we think will make others unhappy with us. God, in contrast, seeks out Adam and Eve and invites them to come talk with Him about the choices they have made. Adam and Eve at first try to shift blame for their choices from themselves to others. God explains to each of them the consequences of the choices they’ve made. Then He provides a Savior for them to ultimately deliver them from the more undesirable consequences of their choices, such as the separation they would experience from God after eating the fruit. 

Once they have left the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve hear the voice of the Lord give them another commandment, as recorded in Moses 5:5:

5 And he gave unto them commandments, that they should worship the Lord their God, and should offer the firstlings of their flocks, for an offering unto the Lord. And Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord.

Again, we have Adam obeying God’s commandments without really understanding why the commandment has been given. This isn’t a bad place to start in our exercise of faith, but as we see in the subsequent verses, God doesn’t want us to stay in that place of ignorance—He wants us to gain our own understanding of the why behind what He asks us to do so that we can follow His commands more intentionally and meaningfully:

Moses 5:6-9

6 And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me.

7 And then the angel spake, saying: This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth.

8 Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son, and thou shalt repent and call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore.

9 And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, which beareth record of the Father and the Son, saying: I am the Only Begotten of the Father from the beginning, henceforth and forever, that as thou hast fallen thou mayest be redeemed, and all mankind, even as many as will.

Now Adam understands the why of what God has asked him to do, and the next verse tells us that coming to his own understanding of the why leads him to be filled with the Holy Ghost and with gratitude towards God and allows him to see more clearly and prophesy about God’s loving plan for His children:

Moses 5:10-11

10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

11 And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

This idea that Adam and Eve are grateful for their transgression and that good things have come from their transgression is a really tough concept to swallow for those operating out of a black and white obedience framework of faith. The black and white obedience framework says: if you do what God says, good things happen; if you don’t do what God says, bad things happen. End of story. 

Adam and Eve are presenting a more nuanced idea about how agency and obedience work though. The whole point of the gift of agency God has given us is to give us the opportunity to practice making choices and to learn from the choices we make. We’re here on earth to gain knowledge and experience, and that’s exactly what the process of making choices and experiencing the consequences of our choices, both desirable and undesirable, gives us. 

Our choices here on earth are not going to be perfect. There are going to be both pros and cons to all of the choices we make. It’s through pondering our options and making the best choice we can with the limited knowledge we have that we gain more knowledge about what we want and about what is good for us. We’re not always going to make the best choice. And even when we do make the choice we feel best about under the circumstances, there’s going to be a trade-off; there are going to be consequences of each choice we make that we don’t like. 

God is fully aware that when we use our agency to make choices, we’re going to get it wrong sometimes. He’s also aware that even when we make the choice we feel aligns the best with our highest desires, like Adam and Eve did, there are going to be undesirable consequences to our choice as well. That’s the whole reason God provides a Savior for us: to ultimately deliver us from the undesirable consequences of our imperfect choices as we perfect our ability to use our agency in the best ways. He cares about our intentions and what we’re trying to achieve and create through our choices. He knows that we gain knowledge as we go forward and make choices, however imperfect, rather than just waiting for Him to tell us exactly what we should do in every circumstance. 

As current apostle Dale G. Renlund said in the October 2018 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

“Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors.

But God is not interested in His children just becoming trained and obedient “pets” who will not chew on His slippers in the celestial living room. No, God wants His children to grow up spiritually and join Him in the family business.”

In order for us to grow up spiritually, we must seek to understand why God and His servants ask us to do certain things, as well as seek to understand our own highest desires and how those match up with all the different invitations God extends to us. We must ponder and study all these things out in our minds and make the choices that seem most in line with both our own desires and with God’s desires for our growth and learning. Because we each are different and have different desires and different things to learn, the choices we feel best about are also going to look different. It’s the process of going forward and making choices and experiencing the consequences of those choices—both good and bad—that allows us to understand the difference between good and evil and grow in our capacity to experience joy. 

Making choices, and inevitably making mistakes, is the plan. Learning through our own use of agency, through our mixed bag of right and wrong choices, is the plan. We shouldn’t be afraid to use our agency or to allow others to use theirs, even when we make choices that don’t lead to the consequences we would have hoped for. That’s how we learn. That’s how we learn to appreciate the joy that is available to us through repentance and the redemption offered to us by our Savior. Transgression is part of the plan. It’s how we learn what choices lead to suffering and what choices lead to peace and joy. It’s through our mistakes, just as much as through our obedience, that we gain the wisdom to become like God. That’s what the story of Adam and Eve teaches us.

There Is No Peace to the Wicked

During my scripture reading this week, I came across Isaiah 57:21, which says,

“There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.”

I would like to testify of the truthfulness of these words.

I think sometimes we use the terms “wicked” and “righteous” in an us versus them kind of way. We, the righteous followers of Christ, versus them, the wicked people of the world. I think that’s a very simplistic view. Every child of God on the earth does some things that are righteous and some things that are wicked. All disciples of Christ act in wickedness at least some of the time, and all people who don’t consider themselves followers of Christ act righteously in plenty of areas of their lives. It’s not as simple as righteous people versus wicked people—we are all a messy mix of both. And for all of us, our wickedness often comes not from a desire to do wickedness, but from good intentions that result in wickedness due to a lack of knowledge. Whether we realize we’re acting in wickedness or not, our acts of wickedness cannot bring peace, no matter how well-intentioned or justified we may feel those actions are.

For the purposes of our discussion today, we’re going to assume that the term “wicked” or “wickedness” simply means not in line with God and His love. I don’t want people getting hung up on the strong negative connotation of the word and using that to justify the small ways that they are not acting righteously. Thinking, what I do isn’t that bad compared to someone who murders people, for example. Such comparisons and trivializing of your own wicked acts is not going to serve you. Any level of wickedness, of not being in line with God and His love, is going to interfere with your peace. And I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking for more peace in my life.

I’ve noticed in my own life that when my peace is replaced by negative emotions such as fear or anxiety, it’s usually because I’m trying to control things that are outside of my control. And often what I’m trying to control is other people and their choices. That’s the wickedness that is stealing my peace. God gave all of His children agency—the ability to choose for themselves and to learn and grow through the act of making their own choices. When I try to control other people and their choices to make myself feel better, I am trying to implement Satan’s plan instead of God’s, and it doesn’t feel good. It hurts me, and it hurts my relationships with others. I’m operating from a place of fear and judgment instead of from a place of love and trust, and this is not God’s way. And it does not bring peace, no matter how well-intentioned my efforts to manipulate others into making the choices I want them to make are.

Back when I was emotionally dependent on other people, I dedicated a lot of time and effort to loving and serving others—especially those that I was emotionally dependent on. 1 John 4:18 claims, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” I knew something was up, because I was full of fear. I kept trying to figure out how to achieve this perfect love that was without fear, without torment, but I couldn’t figure it out. All my good intentions of loving and serving others weren’t producing the desired results because I lacked knowledge. I couldn’t see the wickedness I was doing that was keeping me from perfect love and peace. How could loving and serving other people have any wickedness in it?

But mine did. What I was calling love was all mixed up with things that weren’t love at all. I read a description of someone who serves with strings attached, trying to earn love, acceptance, a sense of security, etc. through their service, and I knew it was me. I couldn’t find any peace in my relationships because I was trying to control how other people felt about me instead of just loving me and loving them and letting them make their own choices about how they wanted to feel about me and how much time/effort they felt good about investing in our relationship. I wasn’t truly seeing and loving them as they were and caring about what was best for them; I was trying to get them to love and take care of me so I could feel good about myself and my life. I was trying to get them to create purpose for me, rather than creating purpose for myself. And it wasn’t working. They were feeling suffocated by my neediness, and no matter how much love and attention they gave me, I was still a bottomless pit of need that could never be filled. They couldn’t save me, no matter how much they or I wanted them to be able to, and the wickedness of trusting in the arm of flesh to do that for me instead of the Savior was robbing me of peace.

When I could finally see what I was doing that was hurting me and my relationships, I could finally take steps towards abandoning my wicked practices and replacing them with that perfect love that casteth out fear. It really did require a whole new understanding of what true Christlike love is, built up arduously line upon line, precept upon precept, over many months and years. The process of changing an entire erroneous mindset and pattern of relating to others is brutal. At least it was for me. So many tears. Feeling like the emotional pain I was experiencing would never go away.

But then one day it did. One day I realized that I could remember the negative emotions I used to feel in certain situations, but I didn’t feel them anymore. I had been healed. My heart had been changed. My torment had been replaced with peace. The knowledge I had gained had finally allowed me to replace my wicked practices with more righteous ones, and I was reaping the benefits of thinking and acting in ways that were more in line with God and His love. And I felt so much more peace. And joy. It was always there for me, but I was blocking it by living in ways that were incompatible with joy and peace. I had learned for myself that “there is no peace…to the wicked,” even when you’re sinning in ignorance. That’s why we can’t be saved in ignorance. It’s becoming a person capable of understanding and living in line with divine love and truth that makes the incredible joy and peace of exaltation possible. God wants to give us all the blessings He has, but He can only give us as much as we are able and willing to receive. What we are able to receive is limited by our ability to apply righteous principles in our lives and abandon wicked ones that lead to misery rather than peace.

Do you need more peace in your life? Pray. Study the scriptures. Study the words of other wise men and women who can help you see where you might be getting tripped up with wicked practices that you can’t see yet. Ask the question, “Lord, is it I?”, and listen for His answer. In what ways are you blocking your own peace? It takes a lot of courage to face our own sins and weaknesses, but I can testify that that is the path to peace. It’s in changing ourselves, not others, that we will find the peace we seek. I testify of these things, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

Stay Close to the Lord

I was at a high school graduation party for my nephew tonight where we were asked to write down our advice for the new graduate. For some reason there was a general consensus amongst several family members that the advice I had to share would be especially wise and worthwhile. When I said the advice I had given my nephew could be applied to anyone in any situation, I was encouraged to share that advice with a broader audience. So, I thought, what the heck, I’ll write a blog post about it. After all, who doesn’t like a generous helping of unsolicited advice from time to time 😜

In a nutshell, my advice to my nephew was this: stay close to the Lord. I don’t know of any better advice one could give or receive than that. Other lessons I have learned in my life may or may not be applicable to other people, but drawing close to the Source of All Truth who loves you perfectly and does know exactly what you personally need to learn and do to progress and find joy and peace—that is something that would be of great benefit to everyone in every situation.

I have learned from my own personal experience that God lives, that He knows and loves each of His children intimately, and that He can be trusted and relied on. When I have chosen to turn to Him and seek comfort and guidance from His hand, I have been blessed immeasurably. Everything that I most value in my life has come from Him, and I am eternally grateful for those blessings, particularly blessings of knowledge that allow me to see my life more clearly and truthfully, which has led to a huge increase in the joy and peace I experience in my life and in my capacity to bless the lives of others.

Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). If you are wondering where to go in your life, seek Jesus. He will show you the way to go, teach you the truths you need to know, and help you create the best and most worthwhile life possible. Trust Him, seek Him, stay close to Him—there is no better way to find joy and peace in your life and to reach your divine potential than that. I bear witness of these truths, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Life Philosophies

There's a conversation Ted and I have had several times throughout our marriage. It's a discussion about the Rudy philosophy versus the It's a Wonderful Life philosophy. In the movie Rudy, Sean Astin’s character sacrifices everything to follow his dreams, while in the movie It's a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart’s character sacrifices his dreams to fulfill family and community obligations. Which is the correct philosophy? Which is the worthier objective? Which is the more worthwhile sacrifice?

I realized that neither of these philosophies is a 100% correct philosophy for everyone all the time. Following your dreams at all costs can lead you to act selfishly and damage your relationships with others. Sacrificing too much of your own needs and desires to meet the desires and expectations of others can be unhealthy and can create unhealthy relationships.

The only philosophy that is true for everyone 100% of the time is the one contained in the following Bible verses: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength, this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31).

The only thing thing or person you're supposed to be willing to sacrifice everything for, all your heart, soul, mind and strength, is God. Not your dreams, not a cause, not your talents or career, not another person, not a material possession--only God. That’s the answer.

You may be asking, why is God the only one worthy of such a sacrifice? Because He is the only one who has already sacrificed everything for you. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price of the atonement, took the pains, sicknesses, and sins of every single one of God’s children on Himself, which gave Him, and only Him, the power to save each of us and ensure our ultimate, eternal peace and happiness. He is the only one who knows the correct path for each of us to take in our life, what dreams, causes, relationships, and talents to pursue, to help us learn what we need to learn to reach our full potential, do the most good in this mortal life, and prepare for salvation in the next.

Sometimes we have the philosophy, my life will be complete when…(insert mortal experience that we think we have to have in order to be happy: marriage, children, career objective, material possession, etc.). This kind of philosophy can be a dangerous one. To think that your happiness requires some specific mortal experience or possession or achievement is foolish. Either you won't get it and you will think that you can't possibly be happy without it (and you can't be as long as your focus is all on that one thing--marriage, career, etc.), or you’ll get it and realize it has not brought you all the happiness you will ever need, and you’ll either keep trying to make it do that when it doesn't have the power to, or you’ll lose direction and meaning in your life (ex: Olympic athletes who win the gold and then don't know what to do with themselves after achieving that dream).

God’s plans and dreams for us, on the other hand, are with our eternal progress in mind, and each step we take on the path He has laid out for us brings us a step closer to an eternity of joy and increase. No experience we have here is a waste or a failure; every experience can teach us something that can draw us closer to God and help us become more like Him, which is our ultimate goal, and one we can never fully achieve in this life or without the Savior’s help. The more we choose to seek out and follow God’s plan for us, even, and perhaps especially, when it requires sacrifice, the more we will learn, and the more peace, joy, and love we will feel. God wants His children to be happy, and only by sacrificing our all to Him will we find the true, lasting happiness we are seeking, accomplish the things that are most important for us to accomplish, and become the people we have the potential to be.

How Can You Feel Grateful In All Things and At All Times?

I was reading over a talk I gave in church a little over a year ago, not too long after we moved to Heber, and I decided it would be a good thing to share on my blog. Here it is.

November 9, 2014
TOPIC: Gratitude in all things and at all times

The topic I was assigned for my talk today is "gratitude in all things and at all times." So, the question is, “How can we feel gratitude even when we are facing trials and difficult times in our lives? What is the source of this gratitude that transcends the suffering we sometimes experience here in mortality?

People often joke that they have read the first verse of the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:1, more times than any other verse in the Book of Mormon. If you start reading the Book of Mormon and that’s as far as you get, you’ve actually already learned quite a bit from the very wise prophet Nephi. Let’s take a look at that first verse: 

I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; 

• Nephi had good parents who taught him well, which is very important, but this next part is the part I want to focus on:

and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; 

• This sounds like a contradiction. How can you both have many afflictions and at the same time be highly favored of the Lord? We know Nephi did indeed experience many afflictions in his days. He had to leave his home in Jerusalem and all his possessions, travel in the wilderness for a long time where sometimes food was scarce, his older brothers hated him and tried to kill him multiple times. And yet, although Nephi acknowledges that he’s seen many afflictions in the course of his days, in the same breath he says that he has been highly favored of the Lord in all his days. It seems like Nephi has figured it out, how to be grateful even in hard times. Let's keep reading and see if he gives us any clues to this secret. Nephi goes on to say:

yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God,therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days. 

• Nephi feels blessed and highly favored of the Lord because of his knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God
• We often think that there are certain things we need in order to feel happy and blessed in our lives: maybe we think we need a nice home, or to get into the college that we want, or to get a certain job that we want, or to get married, or for our kids to behave and make good choices, or for our health to improve
• Nephi is teaching us that it is knowledge of God and His goodness and of eternal truths that brings us peace and hope in the midst of affliction, that allows us to feel greatly blessed, no matter our circumstances. 

How can knowledge of God and His goodness help us in times of trial? 

President Uchtdorf tells us that "Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true." He says that "True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony" (“Grateful in Any Circumstances, Ensign May 2014).

Trusting God is something that I've struggled with a lot in my life. Most recently, this last spring when Ted was getting ready to graduate from USU and was looking for a job, I struggled to trust God in the face of so much change and uncertainty in our future. We had been living in Logan for four years, and I had made a lot of friends and gotten quite comfortable with our life there. I was afraid of having to start over somewhere new where I didn't know anyone. I was pretty sure what I needed to be happy, to live close to people that I loved, and I was afraid that God wasn't going to let me. I didn't feel that I could be grateful unless He did, unless the outcome of Ted's job hunt looked the way I wanted it to look. My struggles with all the changes in my life finally pushed me to humble myself enough to realize that I needed to change the focus of my life. I needed to rely on God and His love to meet my needs, not on other people. When I stopped focusing so much on specific people in my life and my fear of losing them, I was able to see that God had been right there beside me the whole time, but I had been too distracted to notice because I was holding on so tightly to the things I thought I needed to be happy instead of relying on Him and trusting His greater wisdom and knowledge to guide my life. Once I was able to recognize my weakness in this area and work to change and make God and His will the center of my life and trust Him to take care of me, I was able to feel so much more peace.

We are here on earth to gain knowledge and experience and to become like God. For me, the true learning began when I recognized that the way I was going about trying to secure my own happiness was not working. I had a plan, and my plan was not giving me the results I wanted. Realizing that I actually didn't have any idea what I really needed to be happy, that my plan was actually causing me way more suffering than just following God's plan, humbled me enough that I was finally able to say, "Okay, God, you're right. You know best. I thought I knew what I needed to be happy, but I was wrong. I will do things your way. You know what I need to find joy and peace, and I don't. I am ready to accept your plan for my life and trust you to take care of me."

What is it that we actually need to find true joy and peace in our lives? If it isn’t other people or power or possessions, then what is the source of that joy and peace that is available to us even in hard times, when nothing in life seems to be going well? In his famous dream of the Tree of Life, the prophet Lehi finds himself in “a dark and dreary waste” (1 Nephi 8:7). After traveling many hours in darkness, Lehi prays to the Lord for help and relief. It is then that he sees what Lehi describes as “a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass,” Lehi says, “that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted...And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy…” (1 Nephi 8:10-12). Later we learn that the fruit that Lehi ate represents “the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men" and "is the most desirable above all things...and the most joyous to the soul" (1 Nephi 11:21-23). 

God's love - that is the true source of joy and peace. And the great thing is that God's love is something that we can have access to at anytime, no matter what or who else is in our lives. At the time that we make our very first covenant with God, at baptism, our Heavenly Father gives us a great gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost. We learn from Paul in his letter to the Galatians that the fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy and peace (Galatians 5:22). The Holy Ghost helps us feel God's love for us when we are living righteously. Paul also tells us in his letter to the Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of God, not tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword, nor death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature - nothing (Romans 8:35, 38-39). Paul says that "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us" (Romans 8:37). Jesus Christ and His atonement have the power to heal all of our wounds and to purify us of all our sins and weaknesses. What a great blessing this is, and what a reason to be full of gratitude to a loving and merciful Heavenly Father who will not leave us alone in times of distress and who is willing to forgive us time and time again and has a wonderful plan to help us return to Him and gain eternal joy and peace in His loving presence. 

When we gain a true understanding and testimony of God and His goodness and mercy and love, we are able to trust Him, to know in hard times that He is there to help us and that by following His perfect plan a bright future awaits us, that all our sorrows will ultimately be swallowed up in the love of our Redeemer. We know that God will never give up on us or on our loved ones and that His greatest desire is to bring us all safely home to Him and that He will not rest until He has given us every opportunity to make that choice and achieve that glorious objective. 

At the last General Women’s Meeting, Sister Marriott, the second counselor in the YW presidency, shared an experience where during a struggle in her life she turned to the Lord and was able to have her testimony strengthened and her burden lightened as she came to a greater understanding of herself and of her relationship with the Lord. Sister Marriott recounted:

“Some years ago our family encountered a major challenge. I went to the temple and there prayed earnestly for help. I was given a moment of truth. I received a clear impression of my weaknesses, and I was shocked. In that spiritually instructive moment, I saw a prideful woman doing things her own way, not necessarily the Lord’s way, and privately taking credit for any so-called accomplishment. I knew I was looking at myself. I cried out in my heart to Heavenly Father and said, “I don’t want to be that woman, but how do I change?”

Through the pure spirit of revelation in the temple, I was taught of my utter need for a Redeemer. I turned immediately to the Savior Jesus Christ in my thoughts and felt my anguish melt away and a great hope spring up in my heart. He was my only hope, and I longed to cling only to Him. It was clear to me that a self-absorbed natural woman “is an enemy to God” and to people in her sphere of influence. In the temple that day I learned it was only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that my prideful nature could change and that I would be enabled to do good. I felt His love keenly, and I knew He would teach me by the Spirit and change me if I gave my heart to Him, holding back nothing.”

Sister Marriott continued, “I still fight my weaknesses, but I trust in the divine help of the Atonement. This pure instruction came because I entered the holy temple, seeking relief and answers. I entered the temple burdened, and I left knowing I had an all-powerful and all-loving Savior. I was lighter and joyful because I had received His light and accepted His plan for me” (“Sharing Your Light,” Ensign November 2014).

Notice in this example that going to the temple did not make the major challenge in the life of Sister Marriott and her family go away. However, recognizing her weaknesses and calling upon Jesus Christ for help to change allowed Sister Marriott to feel God’s love for her and gain confidence in His ability and willingness to help her and her family achieve their divine potential and the eternal joy He desired for them.

When life seems hard and we feel that we are surrounded by darkness and despair, like Lehi in his dream, sometimes it can be really hard to find Christ’s light and God’s love in the darkness. How do we get out of dark emotional places to a place of gratitude?

When we are in dark places, Satan would love for us to stay there. He is the one that gives us feelings of discouragement and despair, tries to convince us that we are worthless and can never change or accomplish anything good and that our lives are terrible and will never get better. Those feelings do not come from the Spirit. You can tell because they do not motivate you to do good, they just paralyze you. The Spirit gives you feelings of hope and faith that you can change and improve with Christ's help and that God is taking care of you and life will get better. I’ve noticed that it's easier to feel the Spirit in my life when I am pushing forward, making goals, and working to make good things happen in my life and in the lives of others, rather than just sitting around contemplating the things in my life that make me sad or that I wish were different. Like Lehi, often we need to call on the Lord for help to find the light in the darkness. 

When I was struggling with all the changes in my life and trying to change my focus and gain a more eternal perspective on things, I prayed to know what my new focus should be in my life. What I had been focusing on hadn’t been working well for me, so I didn’t want to focus on that anymore, but I needed something to replace it with, something that was worthwhile and that I felt good about. I had just recently had my son Sam and quit working, and I needed to know what my life should be about besides nursing and changing diapers. I decided to read my patriarchal blessing with this question in mind: What should I be doing with my life right now? How should I be using my time? It was like God had just been waiting for me to ask that question. As I read my blessing, I received so much inspiration about what things God expected me to accomplish and work on at this time in my life. I received so many ideas about ways I could use my talents to help build God’s kingdom. It was amazing. And as I worked to implement these ideas, I felt God’s love more in my life and gratitude that I could use my strengths to help bless others’ lives in ways that worked well for me during this new stage in my life.

As I mentioned earlier, the main purpose of this life is to learn how to become like God. That's why we're here. No matter what is happening in our lives, if it is helping us to grow and to seek answers and truth and to change and to become better and stronger and to trust in the Lord more deeply and feel His love more strongly, then we are succeeding in obtaining the treasure we came to earth to find. Struggles help us to be humble and to recognize our need for a Savior and to seek to learn the lessons He is trying to teach us. Lots of times we want to say, "Oh, I'm good. I'm as good as I want to be, I've got all the blessings I need, I don't need to learn anything else.” God loves us too much to let us sell ourselves short though. He knows what experiences we need to become who we need to be to qualify for celestial glory, and He will not settle for any less joy than that for His children. He lets us go through hard things because He knows we need those experiences to be purified and molded and shaped into the best people we can be and to receive the greatest amount of joy in the next life and throughout eternity.

Gratitude comes when we recognize our great need for a Savior and come to know personally that He loves us in spite of all our weaknesses and mistakes and that He is willing to forgive us and bless us as we turn to Him and repent and try to change. His great patience with us as we continue to stumble and fall again and again as we try to become better and more like Him is what creates a spirit of gratitude in our hearts.

Adam and Eve felt this great gratitude in their hearts when, after partaking of the forbidden fruit and facing the consequences of their choice of being cast out of the Garden of Eden and out of God’s presence, they were told that their Heavenly Father had prepared a Savior for them who was willing to suffer for their sins and give His life so they could have the opportunity to return to God’s presence and feel His great love for them again. They were eager to make covenants with their Father and live their lives by those covenants for the opportunity to have that great blessing.

Ammon, the son of Mosiah, and the prophet Joseph Smith both have beautiful chapters where they praise God in joyful gratitude for His great mercy and longsuffering towards the children of men and His eagerness to forgive us and bless us and bring us home. 

In Alma 26, starting in verse 11, Ammon says: “...behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.” Jumping down to verse 14: “Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell. Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work. Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel. Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state? Behold, we went forth even in wrath, with mighty threatenings to destroy his church. Oh then, why did he not consign us to an awful destruction, yea, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon us, and doom us to eternal despair?....Behold, he did not exercise his justice upon us, but in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting gulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls….Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo....Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.”

What a beautiful tribute to an all-loving, all-powerful, all-merciful Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith also gives witness to the greatness of our God and His gospel and the great blessing we have to be children of God and to know His plan for us in D&C 128:19, 22-23:

“Now, what do we hear in the gospel which we have received? A voice of gladness! A voice of mercy from heaven; and a voice of truth out of the earth; glad tidings for the dead; a voice of gladness for the living and the dead; glad tidings of great joy. How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that bring glad tidings of good things, and that say unto Zion: Behold, thy God reigneth!....Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free. Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!”

God’s plan for His children is amazing, and we can be eternally grateful for His love and wisdom and mercy towards us and His great desire to make a glorious future possible for us. This is the difficult part of our journey towards Godhood, but the blessings we will receive as we press forward and endure to the end will be greater than we could ever imagine. Paul tells us in Romans 8:18 “that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

I know that we have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves each of us dearly and knows what experiences we need to return to live with Him again and have an eternal peace and joy that will never be taken from us. I know that we have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered for all our pain and sins so that we might repent and be forgiven and receive all the blessings God has to bestow on His precious children. I know that we are here on earth to learn, and that the experiences we have will help us become perfected as we turn to the Savior for help and comfort and allow the Spirit to teach us important eternal truths through our sorrows and struggles. I know that we can trust our Father to take care of us and our loved ones, to give us the strength and comfort we need to carry on, and to guide us home to His ever-loving presence. I know that all wrongs in this life can and will be made right through the Atonement and that all wounds will be healed. What a huge blessing this is. My heart is full of gratitude for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for their love and wisdom and mercy and their great patience with me and my weaknesses as I seek to learn and grow and become more like them. I am grateful that They never give up on me, no matter how many times I stumble or fall short. I know that they will take care of me and that they will take care of you. You can trust Them. Give your burdens to the Lord and let Him sustain you during the hard times. Pray for an eternal perspective, to feel joy and peace from the Spirit, and to gain your own testimony that “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28).

D&C 42:61

If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.

And you will always have reason to be grateful and to rejoice. I say these things, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

The True Source of Joy and Peace

I recently read these verses in Helaman chapter 3 in the Book of Mormon, and something different stood out to me as I read them this time:

Helaman 3:33-35 (Book of Mormon)

33 And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church--not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God--

34 And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.

35 Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

What struck me as the most interesting in these verses is how "the more humble part of the people" who were being persecuted chose to respond in the face of this completely unjustified persecution from other members of Christ's Church. Those being persecuted were completely innocent victims of those persecuting them; the "great evil" done by their persecutors was causing the persecuted to suffer and "to wade through much affliction," all at the hands of those who should have been the most ready to love and support them as fellow disciples of Christ. But the persecutors had succumbed to the weakness of pride and completely lost their way, and the more humble part of the people was suffering for it. 

So what did they do? Did they leave the church of God where they were being treated so poorly by those who professed to follow Christ? Did they lash out at their persecutors? Surprisingly, they resorted to neither of these seemingly justified courses of action. Instead, the scripture says that they turned to the Lord in fasting and prayer in the face of these persecutions, waxing "stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ," which led "to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts" as they "yield[ed] their hearts unto God" and to "the filling [of] their souls with joy and consolation." 

There are a couple of things about these people's response to persecution and its results that I find amazing. The first thing is that when faced with the completely unjust and evil actions of others, the more humble part of the people did not spend their time pointing out the sins of their oppressors, but instead used these difficult circumstances as an opportunity to look inwards, to purify and sanctify their own hearts, to become more Christlike themselves as they suffered these persecutions and to allow the Lord to teach them through their trials. 

The second thing I find amazing is that by purifying and sanctifying their own hearts through fasting and prayer and by yielding their hearts unto God and remaining faithful in the face of bitter persecution, the more humble part of the people found that their faith in Christ grew and that their souls were filled with joy and consolation. NOTHING in their circumstances had changed, but in the midst of their afflictions, they felt joy and consolation. What an amazing gift from the Savior to His long-suffering, faithful followers. 

I have experienced in my own life the joy and peace that comes from yielding my heart unto God. I have seen personally how purifying and sanctifying my own heart through fervent prayer and reliance on the Savior and His Spirit and Atonement can turn my sorrow and suffering into joy and peace, even when nothing in my circumstances has changed. I know the Lord can replace feelings of hurt and suffering with feelings of joy and peace and forgiveness when we turn to Him and seek to find and do His will. I can bear witness of the truth of Christ's words to His disciples in John 14:27:

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

When we choose to follow Christ and take His yoke upon us, we will find indeed that "[His] yoke is easy and [His] burden is light" (Matthew 11:30) and that our hearts need never be troubled or afraid. I bear my personal witness of these things and that Christ is the true source of the joy and peace we seek here and hereafter and that no other creature or circumstance can separate us from Him and the joy and peace He offers all those who faithfully follow Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

As I Have Loved You

I've been trying to figure out what it means to love someone as Christ loves them. Through all my learning over the past couple years, I've realized that my definition of love has some major flaws, and I've been trying to replace it with a more truthful definition and understanding of what it means to love someone in a Christlike way. I read John 15:9-12 the other day, and it added some illumination to the topic for me, or at least some food for thought:

9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

So, Christ has loved us the way the Father has loved Christ. I tried to think about how Heavenly Father showed His love for Christ. He basically sent Him to earth and asked Him to do some really hard things. He taught and strengthened and supported Him as He completed His earthly mission, but when Christ asked, when faced with His ultimate challenge of the atonement, of taking on Him the sins and suffering of all of God's children, that if possible that bitter cup be removed from Him, Heavenly Father did not show His love by removing the burden Christ had to bear. Rather, He sent an angel to strengthen Christ that He might bear it, and asked Him to go forward and complete His earthly mission, despite the extreme personal suffering it caused Him. Heavenly Father knew that Christ had the strength and ability to do what needed to be done, and that all of God's children, including Christ, would be blessed by His willingness to make this sacrifice on their behalf. After Christ's earthly mission was complete, Heavenly Father exalted Christ and gave Him all He had.

It is when we obey God's commandments like Christ did, even when obedience to those commandments requires great personal sacrifice for us, that we will "abide in His love." Christ explains this connection between God's love and how we can access His love through obedience to His commandments "that [Christ's] joy might remain in [us], and that [our] joy might be full." Christ Himself experienced God's love for Him and obtained a fullness of joy as He sacrificed throughout His life to serve God and to accomplish what God sent Him to earth to accomplish. We, likewise, can feel God's love for us and find a fullness of joy in our lives as we sacrifice to serve God and His children and keep His commandments. 

This scripture gives Christ's commandment to love one another as He has loved us, and as Heavenly Father has loved Him, a new meaning for me. We are to love and support and strengthen one other through the trials of this life and help bear one another's burdens, as Heavenly Father helped Christ bear His burdens and how Christ helps us bear ours. If we are to help people fully feel God's love and find a fullness of joy though, we must also help them turn to Christ, teach them of God's commandments, and encourage them to keep them, even if they must sacrifice to do so. That is the path Christ has shown us that will allow us to abide in God's love and receive a fullness of joy. It is the way Heavenly Father showed His love for Christ, the way Christ shows His love for us, and the way we must show love for one another: by teaching God's children His commandments, which He gave us because of His great love for us and His desire to help us reach our full, divine potential, and then supporting and strengthening God's children as they strive to turn to God and follow His commandments, forgiving them freely when they fall short, as Christ forgives us freely, and encouraging them in their continued efforts to carry out God's plan and mission for them in this life and become who He knows they can become, that He might be able to exalt them and give them all He has, and that their joy might be full. So interesting.

Truth Is Independent of Feelings

Truth is independent of feelings.

This has been a hard-won truth for me. For the last year or so, I have been battling a lot of feelings and emotions that have clouded my vision and kept me from seeing my life and relationships clearly and truthfully. There were times that I felt very loved in certain relationships and times when I felt very unloved. The truth that people loved me remained constant, but sometimes I could feel that love and sometimes I couldn't, but whether I could feel it or not did not change the truth that they loved me, just my ability to perceive it. I had a lot of false beliefs and unrealistic expectations of how someone who loved me would think or feel or speak or act that were causing a disconnect for me between the truth of other people's love for me and my ability to feel that love. Once I worked through a lot of those false ideas, it became so much easier for me to see and feel the truth of other people's love for me. 

This experience has taught me that there is often a disconnect between truth and our feelings, that truth is independent of how we might feel at any given moment. Feelings are real, but they are very often not a reflection of truth. For example, sometimes we might feel that we are of great worth, while at other times we might feel completely worthless. It is not the truth of our innate worth as a person or as a child of God that is flip-flopping from one minute to the next; it is only our ability to feel that we are of worth that is changing. It is the same when we have times when we feel that our life is hopeless; that is a real feeling, but it does not reflect truth. When we push through the hard feelings, we will discover the truth that there is still a lot of hope and joy in our future, especially as we draw on the healing and strength that is available to us through Christ's atonement.

We can explain things in our heads in all sorts of different ways that capture varying amounts of the truth and make us feel all sorts of different ways. It really is a gift from God and an amazing ability God has to see things "as they really are" in an eternal perspective rather than through the variety of lenses we use to see and interpret the world around us here on earth. How we explain things to ourselves is so important because it influences how we feel and how we act. Satan loves for us to believe explanations of the world or of others that lead us to make choices that are destructive to ourselves and/or to others.

Our underlying beliefs and thought patterns cannot change truth, but they can have a huge effect on how we feel. I think a lot of God's counsel and teachings are to help us see our life, circumstances and relationships in a more eternal, truthful way. For example, when someone does or says something that hurts us, we can choose to dwell on that temporary hurt and see and treat that person as that one action (a very incomplete and untruthful image of anyone) and ourselves as a victim of that action, or we can choose to follow God's commandment and forgive that person and let go of the hurt and focus instead on the eternal truth that Christ paid for both their unChristlike action and the pain we experienced because of it and because of that that person can learn and change and be forgiven and we can be healed of the hurt their imperfections caused us. 

I feel like in today’s world, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on people's feelings determining who they are or what truth is, and I think this is a very dangerous trend that is drawing people further and further away from eternal truths. Society seems to be subscribing more and more to the philosophy, “if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. If it feels good, do it.” If you aren’t feeling fulfilled in your marriage, then get out. If you love someone and want to have sex with them, then do it. If trying to keep God’s commandments is hard and makes you feel bad or guilty sometimes, then stop trying. God loves you and wants you to feel happy all the time, so if trying to keep His commandments doesn’t make you feel happy, then you don’t need to worry about them; they obviously don’t apply to you. God will love you no matter what you do. Do what feels good to you and makes you happy.

Satan is so good at twisting truth. Of course God wants you to be happy. Of course God will love you no matter what you do. But there is more to it than that. God’s goal is not for you just to be happy in the moment: God’s goal is for you to have the maximum amount of joy possible for eternity. God will love you no matter what you do, but He also knows that some actions you choose will lead you to the eternal joy He wants for you and some actions you choose will not. His love for you and His desire for your eternal happiness is what leads Him to give His children commandments, to tell them the truth about what choices they need to make to achieve their divine potential, become like Him and enjoy the joy and peace He enjoys. The truth is that some things that will bring us eternal joy can also be very, very difficult and cause us a lot of heartache, discomfort and suffering in the moment. That’s where faith comes in.

God’s knowledge of eternal truths is much, much greater than ours. We are blinded in many ways by the fallen world we live in and the feelings and temptations that come with imperfect, mortal bodies. Many of our natural inclinations and feelings do not align with eternal truths. Our job here on earth is to learn to master our bodies and the thoughts and emotions that come with them, not just let them sweep us along here or there. We have the power to determine our destiny, what we do and who we become, and God teaches us how to use that power wisely. 

It takes a lot of faith and trust in God to follow His words when it goes against how we are feeling. When someone hurts us, turning the other cheek is not what we feel like doing. Neither is loving, blessing, doing good to, or praying for people who curse, hate, or persecute us. But God asks us to master our emotions and act in a Christlike manner towards all of His children, no matter how they choose to treat us at any given moment. He knows the eternal truth that each person is His child with the potential to become like Him, no matter how far they still have to go to get there. Through Christ’s atonement, all God’s children can repent and change, no matter how many mistakes they have made on their mortal journey or how many people they have hurt. The atonement paid for all that, and God asks us to treat all of His children with love and forgiveness as they grow and learn, one small step at a time, doing all sorts of wrongs in the meantime that they have no way of making right, but that Christ has chosen to take on Himself so that He can give forgiveness and relief from sins and their consequences to all who choose to follow Him and accept the gift of His atonement.

Our innate worth and divine potential as children of God is real and eternal, no matter how we feel about ourselves or how others may feel about us at any given moment. God has also revealed that “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” and that “the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the Word” https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng). Whatever our feelings may be, these are real and eternal truths that God has revealed to His prophets to help us clearly understand His plan for His children and what choices and actions will allow us to reach our divine potential and help others reach theirs. The blessings that come from keeping God's commandments are real and eternal, whether it feels difficult to keep them or not.

Only God is able to see all things as they truly were, are and will be, which is why He asks us to trust Him and submit to His will, even when our feelings make us want to make other choices. When we humble ourselves, trust God, and strive to align our will with His, praying to see things as He sees them, and committing to act according to our knowledge of the truths He has and will reveal to us personally or through His prophets, we will be able to see through the dark swirling mists of our unhelpful feelings to the light and truth He has to show us. And once we see things in the more truthful light of God's eternal perspective, then we will feel the feelings of peace, love and joy that come when we have the Holy Ghost with us.

I can testify from personal experience that your feelings and perspective change as you become converted unto the Lord and become one with Him. It can be a very slow, grueling process, with many setbacks and many false beliefs to discover and tackle one by one, each with tons of unhelpful, excruciating feelings attached that make it so hard to see and hold on to the truth. When you keep pressing on in your pursuit of truth and don't give up though, God will continue to teach you "line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little," as you are prepared to receive it. 

I am so grateful for those who have been kind and patient and forgiving with me as I have gone through my learning processes, and I hope to be able to extend the same love, kindness, and compassion to others as they wrestle with their own painful emotions and false beliefs, seeking truth. I know God is there to help each of us on each step of our journey back to Him and that He will never give up on us, no matter how long it takes us to come to trust Him and make the tough sacrifices He asks us to make so that we can become like Him and receive the blessings He is eagerly waiting to shower upon us. The cool thing is, that the things we think we have to have to be happy that God is asking us to give up (these are different for each person) are actually not the key to our happiness at all. God knows the key, and when we trust Him enough to do what He asks even when it's hard, we will discover that He was right all along and that the sacrifices we make that we thought meant giving up happiness actually open the door to true, lasting happiness and peace. 

I am so grateful for a kind, wise Heavenly Father who is so patient with me as I make mistakes, learn, and slowly come to trust Him and for His willingness to help me replace my false beliefs and the painful emotions that come with them with truths that bring increased peace and joy into my life.

Easter Message: The Act and Purpose of Crying Repentance

I've been thinking about repentance, and more specifically about the act of calling people to repentance. Prophets do that a lot in the scriptures, as did Christ when He was on the earth, as did His apostles then, and as do His prophet and apostles on the earth today. All disciples of Christ, in fact, have a responsibility to teach and bear witness of Christ and of the truth of His gospel and to invite people to come unto Christ and repent.

Most of the time, we tend to focus on the wrong part of the process of calling people to repentance. We get all hung up on the fact that someone is telling us or others that they are doing something wrong. The only thing we see is that we are being judged and condemned.

The whole point of telling people they are doing something wrong is not to condemn them. The whole point in telling them is so they can change and start making choices that will bring them greater peace and happiness. If God's goal was to condemn us, He would just let us keep making bad choices and not bother telling us which choices would actually make us the most happy in the long-term. He wants us to be happy and achieve our greatest potential though. That's the whole reason He sends prophets and apostles to teach us and why He sent His Son to perform the atonement: so we can change. So we can repent and be forgiven and make the choices that will allow us to become like God and return to His presence and partake of the same eternal joy and increase that He enjoys.

There are so many good examples in the scriptures of God trying to teach people this concept. Take the story of Cain, for example. Cain and his brother Abel both offer God a sacrifice. Abel's sacrifice follows the laws of sacrifice that God taught to Adam and Eve and is accepted. Cain's sacrifice does not follow the laws of sacrifice laid down by the Lord and is rejected. Cain gets upset that his offering was not accepted. This is the Lord's response to Cain:

Genesis 4:6-7 (Bible, King James version)
6 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.”

God explains to Cain that getting all upset about having his offering rejected is unnecessary and even counterproductive. All he needs to do is change and do well, follow the Lord’s instructions, and his offering will be accepted. God’s response to his imperfect offering is an opportunity to learn and change, not a punishment or evidence that God is playing favorites. God is teaching His son Cain about choices and consequences. Cain has control over what choices he makes, but he does not have control over the consequences of those choices. God wants to make sure Cain clearly understands the consequences that come with each choice, which choices have good consequences and which choices have bad consequences, so he can choose wisely. He also wants Cain to know that if he makes a wrong choice, all is not lost; all he needs to do is change and make a better choice the next time.

That's the message of Easter. It is a joyful message that, thanks to Christ's atonement, all is not lost, no matter what we have done or how many poor choices we have made. God doesn't care how long it takes us to learn to choose well. All He cares about is that we start heading in the right direction now.

The Lord teaches this concept again in the Old Testament to the prophet Ezekial.

Ezekial 18:20-32 (Bible, King James version)
20 The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.
21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?
24 But when the righteous turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? All his righteousness that he hath done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he hath trespassed, and in his sin that he hath sinned, in them shall he die.
25 Yet ye say, The way of the Lord is not equal. Hear now, O house of Israel; Is not my way equal? are not your ways unequal?
26 When a righteous man turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and dieth in them; for his iniquity that he hath done shall he die.
27 Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.
28 Because he considereth, and turneth away from all his transgressions that he hath committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
29 Yet saith the house of Israel, The way of the Lord is not equal. O house of Israel, are not my ways equal? are not your ways unequal?
30 Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord God. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.
31 Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?
32 For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord God: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye.

The Lord is again explaining the consequences of righteous choices versus wicked choices, between choices that will ultimately bring us eternal joy and choices that will ultimately bring us sorrow, regret and misery. The Lord emphasizes the point that He takes no pleasure in the death or separation from Him of His children who choose poorly. His greatest desire is for them to repent, change, and start making good choices so that they can live with Him again in eternal joy. He asks His children, why will ye die? Why do you insist on making choices that will not bring you happiness? I do not choose that for you. I have no desire for you to have negative consequences. That's why I send my prophets to teach you and my Son to atone for you. I want life and happiness for you. Please repent and choose well and come back to me. I leave you the choice, but I will do everything in my power to give you the opportunity to make the choice to do well and come home to me.

It is not God's desire to condemn His children that motivates Him to send prophets and missionaries to call people to repentance; it is His desire to extend mercy to His children that motivates Him. He wants all of His children to clearly understand the consequences of the choices they are making so that they have the power to choose wisely. He also wants them to know the joyful message that through the suffering and sacrifice of His perfect Son, they have the opportunity to be washed clean from past sins and mistakes and the power to change and become like God and partake of eternal joy with Him. That is the glorious message of Easter. Christ lives, and so can we. The choice is ours. May we listen to the voices of God's messengers and choose wisely. I leave you this Easter message in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

P.S. This year, Easter weekend is the same weekend as the semi-annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, when the current prophet and 12 apostles chosen by Jesus Christ to lead His church in our day will speak and give us counsel and direction they have received from the Lord through His Spirit. Stream it for free on lds.org on Saturday and Easter Sunday! There will be many great messages about the Savior and how we can apply His teachings in our lives! The meetings are at 10AM and 2PM MST both Saturday and Sunday. Recordings of the meetings will also be available afterwards if you don't catch them live. Happy Easter!

Learning to Trust God

I've always been a little afraid of trusting God. I knew that God sometimes lets bad things happen to people or asks people to do really hard, scary things. I thought I knew what I needed to be happy, and I thought if I let God decide, He would take those things away. Through recent experience, I've realized that pursuing what I thought I needed to be happy has actually led to a lot more suffering and heartache than just trusting God and humbly following His plan for me would have. God knows what I need to find joy and peace in my life; I just need to trust Him. I'm finally in a humble enough place to do that, to say to God, I will do whatever you ask of me. I know your way is the best way to love, light, peace, joy, and comfort.

I think often we try to use things other than God to fill the void that is left in our lives while we are here on earth separated from God's presence and the feeling of His infinite love for us. I often try to use other people and their love to fill that void. Trying to use other imperfect people to save you and to meet all your needs doesn't work very well though. Other people, no matter how wonderful, will inevitably let you down or fall short in some way. Only God has a perfect knowledge of you and the capacity to fulfill every need, to heal every wound, and to comfort every sorrow. We are told again and again in the scriptures to put our trust in God and not in the arm of flesh, and yet people and positions and possessions here often seem so much easier to trust, so much surer of a way to gain the happiness we are seeking.

Based on my recent experiences, I can testify that when you choose to let go of whatever you are holding onto instead of God and turn to the Lord for the love, validation, relief, fulfillment, or comfort you are seeking, He will not let you down. The Lord will support you and fill every need as you seek to know His will for you and to follow it. Letting go can be really painful, but once you've worked through all the painful emotions and all the false beliefs and assumptions you've been living by, the Holy Ghost is there to teach you, and you realize that God was right there next to you waiting to help you all along, but you were too distracted by whatever you were holding onto instead to see Him. But once you've humbled yourself enough to change, to ask for help and to be taught, He is there. This is what I've learned.

Learning to trust God more has helped change my perspective on life in a lot of positive ways. I've always had a big problem with fear of man and letting my life and emotions be run by other people's opinions and expectations of me. It's actually very freeing to realize that God's expectations of me are the only ones that matter. Getting my love and validation from Him instead of from other imperfect people solves so many of my fears and problems.

Trusting God and knowing that He is ultimately in charge and that He is just as invested in each of His children as I could ever possibly be also makes it a lot easier to trust others and to let them make their own decisions without having to try to control them. I don't need to take saving others upon myself; God's going to take care of that. All I need to do is love them, pray for them, and follow any promptings I receive from the Lord on what He may need me to do on His behalf to help them at a certain moment. But He is the one that will ultimately teach me and teach them what we need to know and do to gain salvation. Another burden I thought I had to carry that I really don't.

It's amazing how many false ideas and assumptions we get in our heads and then live our lives by during this life. The gift of the Holy Ghost that we receive at baptism is such an important, precious gift from the Lord to help us challenge those assumptions and learn truth little by little throughout our lives as we humble ourselves enough to listen. I've been reading a book by M. Catherine Thomas, a former BYU religion professor, called Spiritual Lightening. It's like she wrote this book for me and for this exact moment in my life. She talks a lot about the importance of studying and really coming to know and live by God's word and how when we believe things that aren't true and live our lives based on those untruths it makes our burdens so much heavier than they need to be. Learning the truth through the Holy Ghost, prayer, and the word of God will result in a spiritual lightening of our burdens. I feel like the Holy Ghost has been teaching me so much lately, and it really has lightened my load and given me so much clearer of a perspective on life and on what God expects of me. The Holy Ghost and the truths He has been teaching me have been hard to learn, but in the end they have brought so much peace and understanding and joy to my life.

Here are some of the scriptures that have been meaningful to me throughout my learning process that I wanted to share with you:

Doctrine and Covenants 42:61

61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things--that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.

Galatians 5:22-23 (King James Bible)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance...

Jacob 4:13 (Book of Mormon)

"...the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls."

Moses 6:61 (Pearl of Great Price)

61 Therefore it is given to abide in you; the record of heaven; the Comforter; the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment.

Job 23:8-10 (King James Bible)

8 Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:

9 On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him:

10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Mosiah 7:29, 33 (Book of Mormon)

29 For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.

33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

John 6:35 (King James Bible)

35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

I know that as you come to trust God and dedicate your life to Him and His work, you will find the peace and joy you have been searching for and you will be filled. Pray humbly and sincerely, study the scriptures, and live by His word. He will be there to bear you up in your afflictions, teach you and love you. I know this to be true. I share these things with you in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.