God Rested

This year at church we are studying the Old Testament. As I was reading Genesis chapter 2 this morning, verses 2 and 3 jumped out at me:

2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

I always knew that the Creation story ended with God resting on the seventh day, but what stood out to me today was that it was His day of rest that God blessed and sanctified. He had all those days of productivity, but which day did He bless and sanctify? His day of rest. Do you think it’s possible that God actually values rest too—not just productivity? 

I don’t know about you, but I often fall into the trap of “hustling for my worthiness” (Brene Brown quote) and believing that if I’m not being productive then I’m doing something wrong and God is not pleased with me. But God Himself took the time to rest. He worked hard and accomplished some pretty important things first, but then He rested. And He blessed and sanctified that day of rest. This seems really significant to me. I want to remember to value my days of rest as much as my days of productivity—to intentionally and deliberately plan times of rest into my life as well as times of productivity—and I think in the Creation story God gives me permission to do so.

Another thing I thought about as I was pondering these verses is what had to be true in order for God to truly rest on the seventh day. First, God had to be confident that the work He had done was good and sufficient. He had to be content with the effort that He had put in. He couldn’t be worrying about whether He had really done enough or if His work was good enough. 

Second, God had to be clear on what was His responsibility and what wasn’t. I think something a lot of us might do at that point if we were God is start worrying about whether our kids were going to make the right choices while on earth and be able to come back to us. What if they didn’t make good choices? What if they didn’t repent? 

God had to be clear that His responsibility was to provide an earth, physical bodies, and a Savior for us. Our job was to use our agency to choose what we wanted to do with those gifts and who we wanted to become. God fulfilled His commitments to us, and He didn’t worry about things outside of His scope of responsibility and control, like what choices we would make with the agency He had given us. 

Fulfilling His commitment to us, recognizing that His efforts were good and sufficient, and not worrying about things that were outside of His control and responsibility are what allowed God to truly rest on the seventh day. And He believed that day of rest was important enough to bless and sanctify it. These are some of the important lessons I learned from the Creation story in Genesis this morning.

Love and Service Redefined

When encouraged to list their strengths, I have often heard women say things like “I am selfless to a fault” or “I would do anything for anybody.” I also used to think being willing to make huge sacrifices to help others at any moment with any need they had was a virtue. 

Statements like this make me cringe a little now though. What I hear in them is an inability/unwillingness to set healthy boundaries—a problem I definitely used to struggle with in certain relationships. I really thought my unwillingness to set boundaries around what I was willing to sacrifice to help these friends and family members was a positive thing about me that made me an especially good friend. In reality, it was a method I was using to try to control these relationships and ensure that those friends/family members would keep loving me and be willing to help me when I was in need. Subconsciously, I was trying to control their opinions of me and obligate their love and service, rather than allowing them to make their own choices about how much love and service they wanted or were able to offer me. 

The problem with over-sacrificing and not setting healthy boundaries is it sets us up to have a victim mentality and actually breeds resentment that hurts our relationships. The person over-sacrificing feels resentful that others don’t seem to be willing to make the same level of sacrifice to help them. Those they are sacrificing to help can feel the underlying expectation that if they are a good person/friend they will also drop everything in their life to meet the other person’s needs, even when that may not be in their best interest. This implied obligation to prove their love in a similar way can also create resentment. 

The idea of sacrificing all our own needs to meet others’ needs is often held up as a standard of excellence in our society, perhaps especially in religious circles. After all, didn’t Christ sacrifice everything for us? And aren’t we supposed to follow His example? 

Perhaps the distinction here is that we’re supposed to be willing to sacrifice everything to follow God’s will. He’s the one we’re commanded to give all our heart, might, mind and strength to. Why? Because He knows what sacrifices will bless us. 

The commandment regarding other people is to love other people as ourselves. Not more than ourselves, and not less than ourselves. As ourselves. Our needs are just as valid as the needs of any other person. We should be very wise about the love and service we offer to ensure we are not undermining our own needs in the process, because in the long run that will neither bless us nor the person we are serving. Other people are not God—they do not know what sacrifices will bless us and what sacrifices will overburden us and make us unable to care for ourselves and our own stewardships. We are responsible for using our agency to make those calls, and we should not give that responsibility away to others. 

Those are just some thoughts I was having today that I wanted to share. May we all be wise in how we choose to love and serve that our love and service might truly be a blessing to us and to those we serve.

God's Goodness

I just wanted to share today about the goodness of God that I have seen in my life. I know many people who question whether God is good or if it is important or worthwhile to follow Him and heed His words that He has given us through His prophets, both in ancient times and now. I must say, based on my own experiences with God, that the answer is unequivocally, yes.

There have been so many times in my life when I have prayed and God has answered my prayers. What is even more amazing to me is all the times that I haven’t prayed, have not known I needed something, but God knew I needed it, and because He loves me He has helped guide me to things that will benefit me and prepared me to receive blessings He wanted to give me. His generosity in giving me gifts I wasn’t looking for or didn’t know were possible lets me know how much He cares for me and how much He really is on my side and wants me to succeed in achieving my divine potential. He hasn’t just left me on my own to blindly flounder about trying to become like Him and guess what He wants me to do, frowning down upon me when I make mistakes. He has taken great care to lead me over and over to the actions and experiences that will bless my life and the lives of those that are within my sphere of influence. He guides me to greater things than I would think to seek for myself.

I could give you so many examples from my life of what I’m talking about, but I wanted to share a recent experience with you. A couple weeks ago I was studying the lesson from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Sunday School manual, “Come Follow Me.” The lesson for the week was on Mosiah 18-24 in the Book of Mormon. One section in the manual about the reading for the week talked about how “God’s people should be united.” As I read that section of the manual and a related sermon by Henry B. Eyring, one of the current apostles of Christ’s Church, I was prompted by the Spirit to focus on having more unity in my family.

As I pondered what more unity in our family would look like, I thought about us all being united in working towards shared family goals, as well as supporting one another in our individual challenges and achievements. Additional pondering led to me creating four common goals we could work towards as a family, as well as coming up with practical, concrete ways for us to work towards those goals on a daily and weekly basis.

I counseled first with my husband about my inspiration and ideas. Then he and I held a family council with our children. We presented our new family goals and discussed our plans for carrying them out, allowing the children to share their own thoughts on each goal and how we could accomplish it. I also created some visual reminders of our goals and what we were going to do to work towards them each day/week, as you can see below.

Our first week of implementing our new system of working together to accomplish our family goals was a great success. The kids were excited and on board with doing their part to achieve our goals each day. They found pleasure in tracking their progress towards each daily goal. These new goals and system for tracking our efforts have been a huge blessing to our family, especially as we have made the transition from the school year to summer break.

Before studying from the “Come Follow Me” manual that day, I had not thought at all about the necessity of having some sort of plan to help us use our time wisely during the summer and had no intention of coming up with such a plan. However, my Heavenly Father knew that such a plan would benefit me and my family, so He took the opportunity during my gospel study to send a gentle prompting about focusing on unity in our family. This prompting led me to the pondering I needed to do to come up with plans to bring more goodness into our lives and give me new opportunities to teach my children important lessons on working together to accomplish good things as a family.

I’m so grateful for my Heavenly Father’s support in helping me find ways to create learning opportunities for my children as I so imperfectly try to accomplish this incredibly challenging task called parenting. I’m so grateful I don’t have to rely solely on my own wisdom to figure out what will be a blessing to my family. I’m so grateful to have a Heavenly Father who also loves my children and wants what’s best for them and is willing to give me inspiration for our mutual benefit. I know He wants me to succeed in being a blessing to my children, and that He will continue to inspire me to know how to do so. I find this knowledge so comforting. I am not alone, and I am not on trial. I am in partnership with a Divine Being, working together with Him to bring about my own salvation and the salvation of those who are dear to both of us. What an incredible blessing and privilege.

God is good, and as we seek Him and strive to know and follow Him, He will guide us to the things that will benefit both us and our loved ones, both when we ask and when we don’t know enough to know what we should be asking for. Following the Lord leads to a bounty of blessings from a loving and generous Heavenly Father. I know and testify of these things in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

Doubt Not, But Be Believing

A while back I was reading in Mormon chapter 9 in the Book of Mormon. I was struck by how many times in that chapter we are exhorted to believe in Christ, “doubting nothing” and promised miracles when we do so. It became very clear to me that God places a high value on faith and belief.

I think this stood out to me so much because it is such a contrast to how we tend to think in our current society. I feel like our current society values skepticism over belief. If you’re skeptical of everything, then you’ll never be tricked into believing something that’s not true. You’ll never risk looking like a fool. It’s interesting to me that this is not God’s approach. He encourages us to believe. To exercise faith and hope in the face of uncertainty. That is what makes miracles possible.

More recently I was reading in chapter 63 of the Doctrine and Covenants. Verses 7-12 discuss people who seek signs before they will believe. It seemed very relevant to this discussion of doubt vs belief:

7 And he that seeketh signs shall see signs, but not unto salvation.
8 Verily, I say unto you, there are those among you who seek signs, and there have been such even from the beginning;
9 But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.
10 Yea, signs come by faith, not by the will of men, nor as they please, but by the will of God.
11 Yea, signs come by faith, unto mighty works, for without faith no man pleaseth God; and with whom God is angry he is not well pleased; wherefore, unto such he showeth no signs, only in wrath unto their condemnation.
12 Wherefore, I, the Lord, am not pleased with those among you who have sought after signs and wonders for faith, and not for the good of men unto my glory.

What I found most interesting in these verses is God’s discussion of what signs are for. He seems most frustrated with those whose focus is on themselves and their need for a sign from God before they will heed His words, rather than on seeking miracles from God to bless others.

I can think of a couple stories that illustrate the concept that “faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.”

I met a man during my full-time missionary service in France who experienced the truth that “signs follow those that believe.” His father was gravely injured and in critical condition. This man prayed and told God that he would quit smoking and not seek revenge on those who had injured his father if God would spare his father’s life. His father lived, and this man kept the commitments he had made to God. This experience of acting in faith to secure blessings from God for another resulted in the miracle of his father’s healing and increased this man’s own faith in God, eventually leading him to the waters of baptism to make further covenants with the Lord.

The story of Laman and Lemuel from the Book of Mormon, however, supports the statement that “faith cometh not by signs.” The prophet Lehi’s two eldest sons saw many signs that God is real, even being visited by an angel at one point, but these signs did not create faith in them. They continued to doubt God and His power. Their brother Nephi asks them at one point, “ye also know that an angel hath spoken unto you; wherefore can ye doubt?” And yet, despite all the signs, somehow they manage it. Faith truly cometh not by signs.

You may wonder if I am promoting the idea of “blind faith” here. Let me respond to that by first telling you part of my own story.

Far from promoting “blind faith,” all my youth leaders at church when I was growing up kept emphasizing the importance of getting your own testimony and finding out for yourself that the teachings of the church were true. The point was brought up so often, that I felt a lot of pressure to find out if my church was the true church of God, not because I needed a sign to continue to live its teachings, but because everyone else seemed so convinced that I needed a sign. So I dutifully prayed and asked God to tell me if the church’s teachings were true. If the Book of Mormon was true. I felt a lot of anxiety over my ability to receive a sign from God that would convince all these other people that I had a real testimony of the gospel.

Not surprisingly, my people-pleasing prayers went largely unanswered. One night, after a particularly poignant lesson on the topic, I prayed even more earnestly, sharing with God my anxiety on the topic. This time I received an answer. The answer I received from God through the Spirit was that it was okay for me to just keep living the gospel like I was doing for now. I didn’t need a sign. I could just keep believing and following the commandments. Relief washed through me. I didn’t need to prove anything to anybody. I could just keep living the gospel like I wanted to.

About fifteen years after this experience, I came to a point in my life where I needed to know for myself that God was there and that I could rely on Him. I needed Him to show me the path to the peace, joy and fulfillment He promises the faithful in the scriptures because my own methods for obtaining those things were failing me. This time when I went to Him in prayer, I was not seeking knowledge from Him that other people thought I needed; I was seeking answers to my own questions and concerns. And when I came to Him with my own questions and concerns, He answered me with a steady stream of personal revelation, teaching me truth after truth after truth. The scriptures had indeed become a feast for me, and I learned for myself that I could rely on the Lord to fill me and help me find joy even in the midst of tribulation.

Looking back over my life, do I feel like all those years I spent believing in God and living the gospel without really knowing 100% it was true foolish? A waste? Not at all. I’m actually super grateful that before I had gained enough knowledge and experience to know for myself what types of choices would be of benefit to me, I was taught to live by many values and form many healthy habits that have blessed my life immeasurably. I see those many years of what some might call “blind faith” more a period of maturation of my faith, of laying a foundation of knowledge of God and His words and His ways that I could draw on when it came time for me to finally put my faith to the test.

There are many stories in the scriptures that follow a similar pattern. Nephi was taught about God by his parents growing up. When his father Lehi had a dream in which God told him to take his family and go on a long journey into the wilderness because Jerusalem was going to be destroyed, it was a crisis moment for Nephi. Suddenly he had to know for himself if these things his father had taught him about God were true because the answer was going to have a significant impact on his life. He prayed, and the Lord visited him and softened his heart, letting him know all the things his father had taught him were true (1 Nephi 2:16, Book of Mormon).

Enos had a similar experience when he was out hunting and pondering on all the things his father had taught him and had a strong desire to know that the atonement was real and that he could be forgiven of his sins. He prayed earnestly “all the day long,” until he finally heard a voice saying, “Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed,” and his “guilt was swept away” (Enos 1:3-6, Book of Mormon). He then continued to pray on behalf of his people, the Nephites, and then on behalf of his people’s enemies, the Lamanites, and continued to receive further knowledge from the Lord. Like Nephi, he now had his own testimony of the truth of the gospel, separate from his parents’.

There is another point of insight I think we can glean from Enos’s story as well. In verse 1 Enos says, “I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man…” We talk about “blind faith,” but I wonder how “blind” faith that is based on the beliefs of one’s parents or on the words of prophets in the scriptures or in our day actually is. Enos took the words of his father seriously because he knew his father to be “a just man.” Nephi also talks about how he was born “of goodly parents” (1 Nephi 1:1). Both these sons could track the goodness of the people who raised them and the strength and goodness that came into their lives through their beliefs.

Even Alma the Younger, who chose to rebel against his father and his father’s gospel teachings, when he finally came to a recognition of the harm the choices he was making were causing himself and others, remembered his father’s testimony in his hour of need and put it to the test, experiencing, like Enos, the miracle of forgiveness, and coming to know His Savior personally through that experience (Alma 36:8-20, Book of Mormon).

Usually the sincere testimony of other good people who have exercised faith and received their own personal evidence of God’s existence, power and mercy is where our own faith begins. This is why God went to such great lengths to have His prophets write down their revelations and experiences, to preserve those writings, and to inspire people to translate those ancient writings into modern languages. The scriptures provide us the knowledge and evidence we need to kindle our own small flame of faith that can then grow larger as we exercise that faith and have our own personal experiences with God. To see His hand in our personal lives though, we first must be willing to believe.

I can personally testify that “signs follow those that believe.” I have experienced God’s hand in my own life on countless occasions. I know He lives and that He knows and loves each of us personally. I invite each of you to exercise enough faith to seek Him and find out for yourselves. He promises throughout the scriptures, “seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matt 7:7, Luke 11:9, D&C 88:63). I know God’s promises are true, and that when you sincerely seek Him, you will find Him, for “he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words” (1 Nephi 9:6) and “proveth all his words” (2 Nephi 11:3). I bear my personal witness of this, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

Stay Close to the Lord

I was at a high school graduation party for my nephew tonight where we were asked to write down our advice for the new graduate. For some reason there was a general consensus amongst several family members that the advice I had to share would be especially wise and worthwhile. When I said the advice I had given my nephew could be applied to anyone in any situation, I was encouraged to share that advice with a broader audience. So, I thought, what the heck, I’ll write a blog post about it. After all, who doesn’t like a generous helping of unsolicited advice from time to time 😜

In a nutshell, my advice to my nephew was this: stay close to the Lord. I don’t know of any better advice one could give or receive than that. Other lessons I have learned in my life may or may not be applicable to other people, but drawing close to the Source of All Truth who loves you perfectly and does know exactly what you personally need to learn and do to progress and find joy and peace—that is something that would be of great benefit to everyone in every situation.

I have learned from my own personal experience that God lives, that He knows and loves each of His children intimately, and that He can be trusted and relied on. When I have chosen to turn to Him and seek comfort and guidance from His hand, I have been blessed immeasurably. Everything that I most value in my life has come from Him, and I am eternally grateful for those blessings, particularly blessings of knowledge that allow me to see my life more clearly and truthfully, which has led to a huge increase in the joy and peace I experience in my life and in my capacity to bless the lives of others.

Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). If you are wondering where to go in your life, seek Jesus. He will show you the way to go, teach you the truths you need to know, and help you create the best and most worthwhile life possible. Trust Him, seek Him, stay close to Him—there is no better way to find joy and peace in your life and to reach your divine potential than that. I bear witness of these truths, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Adam and Eve, Commandments, and Choices

One thing that’s always bothered me about the story of Adam and Eve is the way God gave Adam and Eve conflicting commandments. He commanded them not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and He commanded them to multiply and replenish the earth. And it was impossible for them to do both simultaneously. They could not obey one commandment without sacrificing the other. Why would God set them up for failure like that? Why would He put them in a situation where they were forced to break one commandment or the other? It seemed unfair and unkind, not something a just and loving Heavenly Father would do.

I’m sure there is more than one explanation for why this may have been. I wanted to share though an insight that struck me last night about this situation with Adam and Eve that I had never thought of before.

Ted and I were having a discussion that we’ve had multiple times before in our marriage about how as members of Christ’s Church there are multiple things we are encouraged to do, and it seems impossible to do them all. We are told to get an education, not wait to marry and start a family, ideally have the mother of the family stay home to care for the children, and stay out of debt. Several of these admonitions seem contradictory. Maybe some people are able to do them all at the same time, but we have not been able to. We’ve felt that we, like Adam and Eve, have had to choose which commandments to prioritize. Right now, for example, we can either have me home with our children, or we can have me leave home to go get a full-time job and work on getting out of debt more quickly. We can’t do both. We are in debt because we prioritized getting an education and not waiting to get married and start a family over staying out of debt. We couldn’t do both. To stay out of debt, we would have had to give up one of those other things that we are also encouraged to do.

The thought I had last night as Ted and I were talking was that maybe one of the reasons God gave Adam and Eve conflicting commandments was to teach us about the kinds of choices we would need to make in this life. We are all put in situations where we have to choose between multiple good things that God asks us to do. It’s not always possible to do all the good things He asks us to do simultaneously. This is not a perfect world, we are not perfect people, and we have a finite amount of time and resources. Maybe through the story of Adam and Eve, Heavenly Father was trying to teach us the importance of seeking the guidance of the Spirit to know how best to apply God’s teachings in our own individual lives. We are all unique and in unique situations, so what the application of God’s commandments looks like for each of us at each stage of our lives will be different. And that’s okay. At one point one commandment may take precedence, and in another situation another commandment may take precedence. And it’s the Spirit that will help us make these choices.

Adam and Eve realized that in order to follow God’s command to multiply and replenish the earth, they would need to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil and leave the Garden of Eden. Although making this choice gave them the opportunity to progress and have children, it also resulted in less desirable consequences such as becoming mortal and being separated from God’s presence both physically and spiritually. It’s interesting to me that God did not stop Adam and Eve from experiencing the undesirable consequences of their choice along with the desirable consequences. What He did do was provide a means of ultimate deliverance from those undesirable consequences by providing a Savior for them, Jesus Christ.

In like manner, I have hope that God will ultimately, as we continue to be diligent in striving to keep all His commandments to the best of our ability, provide a means of deliverance for us from the undesirable consequences of our good but imperfect choices as well. Even though right now we are prioritizing having children and me staying home with our children over getting out of debt, I feel like God has given us many small blessings along the way to help us continue to improve our financial situation one tiny step at a time. I’ve had an assortment of side jobs that I’ve been able to do while still staying home with our children, and Ted has been blessed with both a full-time job in his field and a part-time Air National Guard job. Our progress on getting out of debt is very slow, but I have faith that God will continue to open doors for us, and that as we remain faithful to Him and follow the guidance of His Spirit, all the blessings necessary for us to accomplish what we need to in this life will be ours. I love my Savior and am so grateful for His mercy, patience and guidance as we strive to make the best choices we can with the time, resources, and opportunities we have each been given.

Doing Things the Lord's Way

As the current prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Russell M. Nelson, invited us to do, I am currently in the process of reading the Book of Mormon from beginning to end by the end of the year. This week involved a lot of reading in the book of 2 Nephi where the prophet Nephi quotes extensively from the Old Testament prophet Isaiah. In chapter 24 of 2 Nephi, Nephi quotes from Isaiah 14 in the Old Testament.

Isaiah’s words about Satan in this chapter really struck me. Lucifer was a son of God who, instead of following God’s plan and doing things God’s way, decided he would rather do things his own way. Isaiah tells us in this chapter how that worked out for Lucifer, and I thought it was a nice parallel to how things go in our lives when we choose to do things our own way rather than submitting our will to the Lord and doing things His way.

Starting in verse 12 of Isaiah 14 (quoted by Nephi in verse 12 of 2 Nephi 24), Isaiah says the following:

12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!...
13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God…
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

So, Satan’s goals were to ascend into heaven, above the height of the clouds, and be like the most High, or possibly even better than Him. Isaiah tells us what happened instead, when Satan decided to take matters into his own hands and do things his own way to try to attain his goals. His ending, according to the prophet Isaiah, will be much different than what he was hoping to accomplish:

15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
16 They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms;
17 That made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners?
18 All the kings of the nations, even all of them, lie in glory, every one in his own house.
19 But thou art cast out of thy grave like an abominable branch, and as the raiment of those that are slain, thrust through with a sword, that go down to the stones of the pit; as a carcase trodden under feet.
20 Thou shalt not be joined with them in burial, because thou hast destroyed thy land, and slain thy people: the seed of evildoers shall never be renowned.

Basically, Satan, by doing things his way, accomplished the exact opposite of what he hoped to accomplish. Instead of being exalted in the heavens like God, his actions will result in him bringing brought down low into hell, where he will be even lower than those he leads astray in mortality.

The ironic thing is that if Satan had chosen instead to submit his will to the Lord and follow God’s plan instead of trying to do things his own way, he would have achieved exactly what he wanted all along. God’s goal is to exalt all His children and bring them to live with Him again in the heavens, glorified like He is. Following God’s plan would have given Satan everything he dreamed of. But he was convinced his way was better and would make him happier than God’s way.

I went through a period of my life when, while outwardly keeping the commandments and doing what God asked, in my heart I was saying, “God, you just stay over there, and don’t interfere, and I’ll take care of making myself happy. I know what I need to be happy, and I’ll take care of it. You just let me do my thing.” And I went on that way for quite a while, until things started to fall apart, and I realized that I was being more successful at making myself miserable than making myself happy. Humbled, I finally came to the Lord with my whole heart and said, “Heavenly Father, I have no idea what I need to be happy. My way is not working. Will you teach me your way?” And He did teach me. And His way was better, and I found the peace and joy I had been seeking all along but could not find while I was insisting on doing things my way. I fought God’s way for so long, when it was the key to my happiness all along.

I think by telling us Lucifer’s story, Isaiah is trying to teach us this truth: that the Lord’s way is always better than our way, and the quicker we submit to His will and do things His way, the happier we will be and the quicker we will achieve our ultimate goals of happiness and exaltation. No matter how convinced we are that our way will make us happier than God’s way, that’s never the way things turn out. It is only by following the Lord and submitting our will to His that we will find the true happiness we seek. I know this to be true from my own personal experience, and I share these words with you in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Feeling the Spirit

I know I haven’t written a blog post for a while. Last summer I joined an online writing community called Writers’ Village University (writersvillage.com), which I love, and a lot of my writing time has been spent doing writing assignments for the creative nonfiction classes I’ve been taking through WVU. The most recent piece I wrote for one of my classes I thought would be worth sharing here on my blog. I hope you enjoy!

Feeling the Spirit

“Did you feel the Spirit?” Dianna asked me. I stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. It was my baptism day. I was eight years old and had just been baptized by my father. Following my baptism, my father and several other brethren from my church had stood in a circle around me with their hands on my head and given me the gift of the Holy Ghost. Apparently I was supposed to have felt something special during these ceremonies. But I just felt normal. I didn’t know how to tell Dianna that though. I dropped my eyes to the floor, mumbled something, and then ran off to play with my friends who had come to see my baptism. But her question continued to trouble me.

This idea of “feeling the Spirit” is emphasized a lot in my church. It seemed very important to learn how to do this, but I was at a loss. A lot of people seemed to cry when they got up in church to share their beliefs and feelings about God with everyone. I thought crying must have something to do with feeling the Spirit. But I never cried when I talked about God. A lot of people claimed to feel the Spirit when they went to the temple. I just felt anxious when I went there, terrified of forgetting what I was supposed to do and looking stupid. Some people talked about a warm feeling in their chest when they felt the Spirit. That had never happened to me. I got goosebumps sometimes. Was that the same thing?

These concerns about my apparent lack of feeling the Spirit followed me through all my growing up years. I felt like some sort of sham church member, doing all the things I was supposed to do, but never achieving this magical experience called feeling the Spirit. It wasn’t until I became a full-time missionary for my church for a season that I began to unravel this mystery of feeling the Spirit.

It turned out that, for me, the key to feeling the Spirit was recognizing when I was not feeling the Spirit. All this time I had been so worried about what the Spirit felt like, when, in reality, what I should have been focusing on was what the Spirit did not feel like.

It all started to click for me one day during a quarterly gathering of the missionaries in my area. My mission president’s wife spoke at this gathering, and one of the things she said was that, as missionaries, we didn’t have room in our hearts for feelings like self-doubt, self-blame, discouragement, etc.; all we had room for was faith, hope, and charity.

Something clicked for me in that moment. I realized that feelings like discouragement and frustration with myself did not make me feel motivated to try harder to be a better representative of Jesus Christ. Those feelings just made me want to shrink inside myself and give up. That’s not what God wanted me to do, and that meant those feelings were not from God or from His Spirit. Feeling faith and hope that Jesus Christ could help me overcome my weaknesses and that I could succeed in doing His work if I kept trying, those were feelings that motivated me to continue to work hard and reach out to others with love and be patient with myself; those were feelings that came from God and His Spirit.

It was like a brilliant light of understanding had suddenly burst upon my consciousness. My mind had been enlightened, joy and peace filled my soul—I had felt the Spirit. And it felt good. And I could see the way it was a contrast to the darkness of despair at my imperfections that I had been struggling with. And I began to see what Paul meant in his letter to the Galatians when he said “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23, KJV).

I had been feeling the Spirit all along, but until I contrasted it with the darkness that accompanies feelings that are not from God, I couldn’t see it. I was looking for something magical and exotic, outside the realm of normal emotions. What I discovered is that being able to recognize your emotions and their source and which emotions are helpful to you and which ones are not is its own kind of magic. The magic of feeling the Spirit, both its presence and its absence. I can now look someone in the eye and say with confidence that I have felt the Spirit, and it has changed my life.

Casting Out the Bitter Fruit

I was reading Jacob chapter 5 during my Book of Mormon study the other day, and the Holy Ghost taught me something new that I had never noticed before when reading that chapter. For those of you who are familiar with the Book of Mormon, Jacob 5 is the very long chapter that gives the allegory of the tame and wild olive trees.

The part of the allegory that I found the most interesting reading through this time starts in verse 64. This is the part where the Lord of the vineyard is going forth to prune his vineyard for the last time, and he says to his servant, “And if it be so that these last grafts shall grow, and bring forth the natural fruit, then shall ye prepare the way for them, that they may grow.” The Lord of the vineyard then goes on in verse 65 to explain to his servant how he should prepare the way for these last grafts to grow and bring forth natural fruit:

“And as they begin to grow ye shall clear away the branches which bring forth bitter fruit, according to the strength of the good and the size thereof; and ye shall not clear away the bad thereof all at once, lest the roots thereof should be too strong for the graft, and the graft thereof shall perish, and I lose the trees of my vineyard...wherefore ye shall clear away the bad according as the good shall grow, that the root and the top may be equal in strength, until the good shall overcome the bad, and the bad be hewn down and cast into the fire, that they cumber not the ground of my vineyard; and thus will I sweep away the bad out of my vineyard” (emphasis added).

I had never noticed these specific instructions from the Lord before, and they helped me understand better the method the Lord is using to establish His kingdom on the earth in our day. He gives us truth line upon line, as we are ready to receive it, strengthening the good before getting rid of more of the bitter fruit that is a product of our society and culture and not in line with His teachings, so as not to kill the tree with more truth and change than it can handle all at once.

Sometimes it is difficult to understand how anything that does not exactly align with God’s view of things could exist in His church. For example, why did it take so long for revelation to come about black people being able to hold the priesthood? According to the words of the allegory, the Lord and His servants in the vineyard had to strengthen the good enough before they could pluck off and cast away the branches containing that bitter fruit, or they risked losing the whole tree. Other examples could be given as well.

I think in many ways the Lord is much more patient with the process of carefully pruning, digging about, and nurturing His vineyard than we are. He is also much more patient with each of us individually than we tend to be, either with ourselves or with each other. Thank goodness this is true. It is this infinite love and patience we must learn if we are to participate with the Lord in His work of salvation, that we may be inspired to say, like the servant in the allegory, “Spare it a little longer.” Give this person another chance. Give the Lord’s church and the people in it more time to learn and grow and align their thoughts and actions with the Lord. Don't give up too soon and throw the good away with the bad. Strengthen the good, until all the bad can little by little be plucked out and cast away, leaving only the natural fruit that the Lord is seeking to preserve.

I can't wait until we reach the part of the allegory in verse 74 that says, “the bad had been cast away out of the vineyard, and the Lord had preserved unto himself that the trees had become again the natural fruit; and they became like unto one body; and the fruits were equal.” What a glorious day that will be when all the bitter fruit and false ideas have been plucked out of the Lord’s vineyard and we are all equal and like unto one body before the Lord, full of love and unity and perfect understanding of the Lord and His truths. May we each labor diligently in His vineyard to bring about that glorious day. I share these thoughts in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Work of Salvation

I had an epiphany recently while reading through one of the LDS Church Relief Society lessons, and I thought I would share it. The lesson was titled “Daughters of God” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Gordon B. Hinckley, Chapter 5), and as I read it, I had a thought that made me think about my role as a daughter of God, and particularly my role as a mother, in a new way.

If you think about it, the most important task on this earth is teaching people to become like God. That critical task begins in the home. The whole point of designating one spouse to be the primary breadwinner in the home is to free up the other spouse to devote their time and attention to this most important task of caring for and teaching the next generation of God’s children during their young, vulnerable years. There are many opportunities to teach adults as well, but adults begin as babies and children, and the more they learn when they are young and the stronger the foundation they have, the further they can progress when they reach adulthood.

In society we act like it’s the men (or women) with careers doing the most important work in the world, but the main point of their work is to provide the necessities of life to themselves and their families so that the essential work of salvation can take place in the home without the distraction of unmet physical needs. Worldly success such as wealth and fame and status is important to the world, but not to God. His main concern is the salvation of His children, and He has given His daughters one of the most, if not the most, critical roles to play in that plan. Why do men have the responsibility to hold priesthood offices and leadership positions in the church? Probably to free up women to put their whole focus on the nurture of their family, rather than splitting their focus between their personal family and the ward/congregation. One partner does the majority of dividing their time between their family and other necessary responsibilities, while the other keeps their main focus on their family so that raising children--a monumental and essential task--gets the care and focus it deserves. It's not that women wouldn't be good at the responsibilities men have; it’s that they're doing something else incredibly important, a responsibility that God has reserved just for them, to be their focus, because it IS so important. We often belittle the responsibilities women have been given, like they are narrow and not that important, but they are actually participating in the work of salvation full-time, on a daily basis. If that's not a sign that God thinks they are fit for the most important work He has for His children to do, I don't know what is.

God isn't saying to His daughters, this is the only thing I think you're capable of; He’s saying, this is a job that is so important and so demanding that I want you to devote 100% of your time and attention to it. I don't want anything else distracting you from this most important job. I will give all the other responsibilities to someone else, so I can reserve your strength and energy and talents for this most important work. He’s not saying, I don't think you're capable of multitasking; He’s saying, I don't want you to have to multitask. I want to ease all other burdens for you because I know this is such a great one that I have placed upon you, and it is of upmost importance to me that you have the time and energy you need to do it well and give your whole heart to it.

I love getting new perspectives on life :)

When Impossible Things Become Possible

“...for with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27)

It's amazing the difference one single choice can make in your life. I also love how good God is at preparing you to make choices that will allow Him to bless you.

I never intended to be a military spouse. I was actually adamantly against it. When we were dating, I told Ted that wasn't an option. I would NOT be married to someone in the military. I hated the idea of the government being in control of my life: where I lived, when I got to see my husband, etc.

Ted, on the other hand, has always wanted to join the military. He nearly joined multiple times before I met him. He was actually training to join the Marines when he broke his hand in a bike accident and, as a result, decided to go teach English in Russia, which is where he met me.

Both of us, over the years since we got married, just assumed the other person would change their mind on the subject. Ted assumed I would decide the military wasn't so bad after all and let him join eventually, and I assumed he would see that the military wasn't a good fit for our family and give up his dream of joining. From time to time the topic of the military would come up, and we would both discover in surprise that the other person continued to feel the same way about the issue as they had before: Ted was still interested in joining, and I was still against it.

When after several of these conversations I realized that even with the passing years Ted’s desire to join the military had not diminished, I reluctantly agreed to let him apply for an officer position in the Navy as part of his job hunting activities. I was hugely relieved when he was offered and accepted a civilian job before completing the Navy officer application process. I figured that would be the end of Ted’s pursuit of the military as a career.

Then Ted’s brother began talking with a recruiter about joining the Army National Guard. In my mind, it made way more sense for Ted’s brother to pursue this course than Ted, because Ted’s brother was still in school and could get some free training and experience and additional schooling paid for by joining, whereas Ted already had his degree and a good job in his field--what did he have to gain? Besides, I had always thought the National Guard sounded like the worst possible option: why would you give the government control over your life when they aren't even providing you with a full-time job to pay the bills?

Then at a family party I was part of a conversation with Ted’s brother that God used to shift my perspective on what joining the National Guard could mean for Ted and our family. We’d had a lot of financial difficulty since I quit my job to stay home after the birth of our first child, especially that first year after Ted graduated. We were making more money now with this second job, but digging ourselves out of the debt we’d gotten into that first year after having a baby seemed an impossible task. I didn't regret choosing to stay home with my child, but I didn't know how we were going to improve the financial situation that choice had put us in.

While talking with Ted’s brother, I suddenly saw joining the National Guard as an opportunity for Ted to get a second part-time job to supplement our income that he would actually like and be excited about and that wouldn't conflict with his full-time job (except in the case of deployments, which his full-time job was required by law to be okay with and not punish him for). Of the two sacrifices, I realized that I was way more willing to have Ted get a second job and increase our income that way than I was to get a job myself and put my children in daycare. And if Ted was going to get a second job, the National Guard was the obvious choice, since it would be something that he would feel added meaning and fulfillment to his life, not just increased the burden of providing for his family.

Suddenly I found myself being the one suggesting that Ted look into joining the military (more specifically, the Air National Guard). This was so out of character for me, I knew it was God who was inspiring me to suggest this course of action. During the time that we were pondering this option for our lives, Ted and I were able to visit the temple. During that temple session I felt like God went through and addressed each of my biggest concerns about taking this step. I knew He was encouraging me to go forward with this choice and to trust Him to take care of me and my family.

Ted joined the Utah Air National Guard last April, and that choice has made so many blessings and miracles possible for us. Getting out of debt now seems like a real possibility rather than the impossibility it seemed to be before, and it's all a result of this one choice God guided us to make. It took many years of preparation, especially emotional preparation, for me to be ready to make that choice and to handle it well, and God was kind enough and knew me well enough to take the time to prepare me to make that choice so that I could receive the blessings He wanted to give me. I am so grateful for His wisdom and His desire to bless us with what we need when we seek to do good and to follow His will in our lives. I love how much more perfect His plan always is than my own.

Life Philosophies

There's a conversation Ted and I have had several times throughout our marriage. It's a discussion about the Rudy philosophy versus the It's a Wonderful Life philosophy. In the movie Rudy, Sean Astin’s character sacrifices everything to follow his dreams, while in the movie It's a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart’s character sacrifices his dreams to fulfill family and community obligations. Which is the correct philosophy? Which is the worthier objective? Which is the more worthwhile sacrifice?

I realized that neither of these philosophies is a 100% correct philosophy for everyone all the time. Following your dreams at all costs can lead you to act selfishly and damage your relationships with others. Sacrificing too much of your own needs and desires to meet the desires and expectations of others can be unhealthy and can create unhealthy relationships.

The only philosophy that is true for everyone 100% of the time is the one contained in the following Bible verses: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength, this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31).

The only thing thing or person you're supposed to be willing to sacrifice everything for, all your heart, soul, mind and strength, is God. Not your dreams, not a cause, not your talents or career, not another person, not a material possession--only God. That’s the answer.

You may be asking, why is God the only one worthy of such a sacrifice? Because He is the only one who has already sacrificed everything for you. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price of the atonement, took the pains, sicknesses, and sins of every single one of God’s children on Himself, which gave Him, and only Him, the power to save each of us and ensure our ultimate, eternal peace and happiness. He is the only one who knows the correct path for each of us to take in our life, what dreams, causes, relationships, and talents to pursue, to help us learn what we need to learn to reach our full potential, do the most good in this mortal life, and prepare for salvation in the next.

Sometimes we have the philosophy, my life will be complete when…(insert mortal experience that we think we have to have in order to be happy: marriage, children, career objective, material possession, etc.). This kind of philosophy can be a dangerous one. To think that your happiness requires some specific mortal experience or possession or achievement is foolish. Either you won't get it and you will think that you can't possibly be happy without it (and you can't be as long as your focus is all on that one thing--marriage, career, etc.), or you’ll get it and realize it has not brought you all the happiness you will ever need, and you’ll either keep trying to make it do that when it doesn't have the power to, or you’ll lose direction and meaning in your life (ex: Olympic athletes who win the gold and then don't know what to do with themselves after achieving that dream).

God’s plans and dreams for us, on the other hand, are with our eternal progress in mind, and each step we take on the path He has laid out for us brings us a step closer to an eternity of joy and increase. No experience we have here is a waste or a failure; every experience can teach us something that can draw us closer to God and help us become more like Him, which is our ultimate goal, and one we can never fully achieve in this life or without the Savior’s help. The more we choose to seek out and follow God’s plan for us, even, and perhaps especially, when it requires sacrifice, the more we will learn, and the more peace, joy, and love we will feel. God wants His children to be happy, and only by sacrificing our all to Him will we find the true, lasting happiness we are seeking, accomplish the things that are most important for us to accomplish, and become the people we have the potential to be.

"O Wretched Man That I Am"

My study of the Book of Mormon this week brought me to these verses written by the prophet Nephi:

2 Nephi 4:17-18

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

My thought reading these verses this time through was, “I have been there so many times.”

When I was younger I didn't understand Nephi's words in these verses. Nephi was a very righteous man, a prophet even. What on earth was he talking about?

Now I know. No matter how righteous you are, none of us is perfect. We each have our own weaknesses that we struggle with, and sometimes those weaknesses can seem so all-consuming and so difficult to bear. And when we have been working on our weaknesses for a long time and feel like we have made so much progress, and then our weaknesses rear their ugly heads again and knock us down and make us feel like we haven't made any progress at all, it can be so so frustrating and discouraging. We feel like saying, “O wretched man (or woman) that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” 

It doesn't matter what those temptations and sins are that beset you or how they compare to anyone else’s. Any sin will keep you out of heaven, no matter how small. Every single one of us needs the atonement to overcome the sins and weaknesses that we personally struggle with, that are keeping us personally from becoming more like God. 

Nephi goes on to say, “nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted,” and talks about all the ways God has supported him in his trials, delivered him from his enemies, given him great knowledge and visions and sent angels to minister unto him. Then, starting in verse 26, he says, 

“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?....Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul….Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.”

Nephi turns the focus from himself and his weaknesses to the Lord and His mercy. He recognizes that it is Satan, “the enemy of [his] soul,” that wants him to “linger in the valley of sorrow” and allow his “strength [to] slacken” as he dwells on his weaknesses and allows discouragement and self-deprecation to consume him. Those feelings of discouragement and despair do not come from the Lord, and Nephi realizes that he must shake them off and instead rejoice in the Lord and His mercy and the power the atonement gives him to repent and be forgiven and change.

The Lord has an infinite amount of love for each of His children and is way more patient with us than we are with ourselves. The Lord says in the book of Ether, “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). In the next verse He says, “Behold, I will show unto [my children] their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me--the fountain of all righteousness.” 

When we are confronted with our weaknesses, we can give in to the enemy of our souls and allow our souls to linger in the valley of sorrow and our strength to slacken, or we can choose the Lord’s way and face our weaknesses with “faith, hope and charity.” When we have faith and hope that we can change and become better and that the Lord will help us, our outlook on our lives and ourselves is so much brighter, and we feel so much more motivated to keep moving forward and striving to become better. The Lord is full of charity and love for us, and He wants us to extend that kind of love to ourselves and to those around us. May we all learn to do that and to “rejoice in the Lord” rather than “droop in sin” is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Lessons I Learned at General Conference April 2016

I just wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from this last General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that was held at the beginning of this month. You can find the full text of all the different talks that were given at https://www.lds.org/general-conference?cid=HP14GC&lang=eng. I’ve grouped the quotes into four different general messages or lessons that I got from the Conference that were important to me personally.

Lesson #1: My Role as a Mother

Cheryl A. Esplin (“He Asks Us to Be His Hands”)

• “Unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives” (President Monson).

• “Don’t think of your task as a burden; think of it as an opportunity to learn what love really is” (Lola B. Walters).

Neill F. Marriott (“What Shall We Do?”)

• “We build the kingdom when we nurture others.”

• “Love is making space in your life for someone else” (including children)

• “Becoming a builder of the kingdom require[s] selfless sacrifice.”

• “All of us need a spiritual and physical place of belonging. We…can create this [place of belonging for others].”

M. Russell Ballard (“Family Councils”)

• “Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them.”

• “A family council that is patterned after the councils in heaven, filled with Christlike love, and guided by the Lord’s Spirit will help us to protect our family…from the evils of the world.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf (“In Praise of Those Who Save”)

• D&C 64:33: “Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”

• “Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ.”

D. Todd Christofferson (“Fathers”)

• “The perfect, divine expression of fatherhood is our Heavenly Father….His work and glory are the development, happiness, and eternal life of His children.”

• “Perhaps the most essential of a father’s [or mother’s] work is to turn the hearts of his children to their Heavenly Father. If by his example as well as his words a father can demonstrate what fidelity to God looks like in day-to-day living, that father will have given his children the key to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come.”

• “A father [or mother] who reads scripture to and with his children acquaints them with the voice of the Lord.”

• D&C 68:25, 28: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. …And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

• Psalms 78:5-7: “For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should [then] arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.”

• “When a father [or mother] provides correction, his motivation must be love and his guide the Holy Spirit.”

• “Discipline in the divine pattern is not so much about punishing as it is about helping a loved one along the path of self-mastery.”

• Mosiah 4:14-15: “Ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another. …But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.”

• “Let us lay aside the exaggerated notions of individualism and autonomy in today’s culture and think first of the happiness and well-being of others.”

• “Despite our inadequacies, our Heavenly Father will magnify us and cause our simple efforts to bear fruit.”

Lesson #2: How to Draw Closer to the Lord and Seek His Help and Support in Trying Times

Henry B. Eyring (“Where Two or Three Are Gathered”)

• D&C 88:63: “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Dale G. Renlund (“That I Might Draw All Men Unto Me”)

• “The greater the distance between the giver and the receiver, the more the receiver develops a sense of entitlement” (Wilford W. Andersen).

• “Our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, are the ultimate Givers. The more we distance ourselves from Them, the more entitled we feel. We begin to think that we deserve grace and are owed blessings. We are more prone to look around, identify inequities, and feel aggrieved—even offended—by the unfairness we perceive…when we are distant from God, even small inequities loom large.”

• “The closer we are to Jesus Christ in the thoughts and intents of our hearts, the more we appreciate His innocent suffering, the more grateful we are for grace and forgiveness, and the more we want to repent and become like Him.”

• “The best way I know of to draw closer to God is to prepare conscientiously and partake worthily of the sacrament each week.”

• “The sacrament truly helps us know our Savior. It also reminds us of His innocent suffering. If life were truly fair, you and I would never be resurrected; you and I would never be able to stand clean before God.”

• “Through God’s compassion, kindness, and love, we will all receive more than we deserve, more than we can ever earn, and more than we can ever hope for.”

Ronald A. Rasband (“Standing with the Leaders of the Church”)

• D&C 68:6: “Be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.”

• “I have needed the Savior and the rescue of His hand so many times….I have felt confident at times leaping over the side of the boat…into unfamiliar places, only to realize I could not do it alone.”

David A. Bednar (“Always Retain a Remission of Your Sins”)

• “Being born again, comes by the Spirit of God through ordinances” (Joseph Smith).

• “Holy ordinances are central in the Savior’s gospel and in the process of coming unto Him and seeking spiritual rebirth. Ordinances are sacred acts that have spiritual purpose, eternal significance, and are related to God’s laws and statutes.”

• “The ordinances of salvation and exaltation administered in the Lord’s restored Church are far more than rituals or symbolic performances. Rather, they constitute authorized channels through which the blessings and powers of heaven can flow into our individual lives.”

• D&C 84:19-21: “And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God. Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest. And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh.”

• 3 Nephi 27:20: “Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day.”

• D&C 59:9: “And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day.”

• Moroni 4:3: “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.”

W. Christopher Waddell (“A Pattern for Peace”)

• “Peace of mind, peace of conscience, and peace of heart are not determined by our ability to avoid trials, sorrow, or heartache.”

• “In our search for peace amidst the daily challenges of life, we’ve been given a simple pattern to keep our thoughts focused on the Savior, who said: ‘Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me’ (D&C 19:23).”

• Isaiah 2:3: “Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways.”

• “A key difference between those who were ashamed, fell away, and were lost and those who did not heed the mocking from the building and stood with the prophet is found in two phrases: first, ‘after they had tasted,’ and second, ‘those that were partaking’ (1 Nephi 8:26-28, 33).”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf (“He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home”)

• “Obedience is the lifeblood of faith. It is by obedience that we gather light into our souls.”

• “God sees us as we truly are--and He sees us worthy of rescue.”

Jeffrey R. Holland (“Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders Among You”)

• “The Lord blesses those who want to improve, who accept the need for commandments and try to keep them, who cherish Christlike virtues and strive to the best of their ability to acquire them. If you stumble in that pursuit, so does everyone; the Savior is there to help you keep going.”

• D&C 11:8: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.”

• “My brothers and sisters, the first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor.”

• “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will” (George Q. Cannon).

• Isaiah 40:28-31: Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Lesson #3: How to Keep My Marriage and Other Relationships Strong

Kevin R. Duncan (“The Healing Ointment of Forgiveness”)

• “An unforgiving heart harbors so much needless pain.”

• D&C 82:23: “Leave judgment alone with me, for it is mine and I will repay. Peace be with you; my blessings continue with you.”

• “God sees people not only as they currently are but also as they may become.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf (“In Praise of Those Who Save”)

• “Strong marriage and family relationships…require constant, intentional work.”

• “Great marriages are built brick by brick, day after day, over a lifetime.”

• “Those who save marriages pull out the weeds and water the flowers.”

• “Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ.”

• “The great enemy of charity is pride.”

• “Pride assumes evil intent where there is none.”

• “Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.”

Lesson #4: General Words of Wisdom

Donald L. Hallstrom (“I Am a Child of God”)

• “You can have what you want, or you can have something better” (Jeffrey R. Holland).

Dieter F. Uchtdorf (“In Praise of Those Who Save”)

• “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” (Abraham Lincoln)