"O Wretched Man That I Am"

My study of the Book of Mormon this week brought me to these verses written by the prophet Nephi:

2 Nephi 4:17-18

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

My thought reading these verses this time through was, “I have been there so many times.”

When I was younger I didn't understand Nephi's words in these verses. Nephi was a very righteous man, a prophet even. What on earth was he talking about?

Now I know. No matter how righteous you are, none of us is perfect. We each have our own weaknesses that we struggle with, and sometimes those weaknesses can seem so all-consuming and so difficult to bear. And when we have been working on our weaknesses for a long time and feel like we have made so much progress, and then our weaknesses rear their ugly heads again and knock us down and make us feel like we haven't made any progress at all, it can be so so frustrating and discouraging. We feel like saying, “O wretched man (or woman) that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” 

It doesn't matter what those temptations and sins are that beset you or how they compare to anyone else’s. Any sin will keep you out of heaven, no matter how small. Every single one of us needs the atonement to overcome the sins and weaknesses that we personally struggle with, that are keeping us personally from becoming more like God. 

Nephi goes on to say, “nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted,” and talks about all the ways God has supported him in his trials, delivered him from his enemies, given him great knowledge and visions and sent angels to minister unto him. Then, starting in verse 26, he says, 

“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?....Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul….Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.”

Nephi turns the focus from himself and his weaknesses to the Lord and His mercy. He recognizes that it is Satan, “the enemy of [his] soul,” that wants him to “linger in the valley of sorrow” and allow his “strength [to] slacken” as he dwells on his weaknesses and allows discouragement and self-deprecation to consume him. Those feelings of discouragement and despair do not come from the Lord, and Nephi realizes that he must shake them off and instead rejoice in the Lord and His mercy and the power the atonement gives him to repent and be forgiven and change.

The Lord has an infinite amount of love for each of His children and is way more patient with us than we are with ourselves. The Lord says in the book of Ether, “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). In the next verse He says, “Behold, I will show unto [my children] their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me--the fountain of all righteousness.” 

When we are confronted with our weaknesses, we can give in to the enemy of our souls and allow our souls to linger in the valley of sorrow and our strength to slacken, or we can choose the Lord’s way and face our weaknesses with “faith, hope and charity.” When we have faith and hope that we can change and become better and that the Lord will help us, our outlook on our lives and ourselves is so much brighter, and we feel so much more motivated to keep moving forward and striving to become better. The Lord is full of charity and love for us, and He wants us to extend that kind of love to ourselves and to those around us. May we all learn to do that and to “rejoice in the Lord” rather than “droop in sin” is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Love Your Enemies

Ted and I were reading in Matthew chapter 5 today for our family scripture study, and verses 38-48 hit me hard. These are the verses that talk about turning the other cheek, loving your enemies, blessing those that curse you, doing good to those who hate you, and praying for those who despitefully use you and persecute you. I feel like I need to put these verses up on my wall to read often. 

It is so easy to get caught up in the world's view that this person deserves this kind of treatment because he/she was rude to me. Or, I'm not speaking to this person because he/she did this. We are so quick to punish other people when they hurt or disappoint us in some way by treating them unkindly or disrespectfully or giving them the cold shoulder, and we feel justified in our right to do so. They were mean to me, so I have a right, even an obligation, to treat them like this in return. We do this over the smallest unintended slights, when, in reality, we never have any justification for treating any of Heavenly Father's children without love, respect and forgiveness, even when they are deliberately going out of their way to hate, belittle, and persecute us. 

Becoming like God, becoming perfect, requires us to see past all the mistakes, sins, and cruelties of others to the potential they have as children of God to repent and change and become like Him through the power of the atonement. We have an obligation to love our spirit brothers and sisters even in their darkest moments, when they are at their worst, and to have the desire to help them out of Satan's clutches and back to the light and truth of Christ. God never gives up on us, and we cannot give up on each other or punish each other for not being perfect yet. As God forgives us for our sins and weaknesses, so must we be quick to forgive each other and treat each other with love and kindness, no matter the provocation. This is true godliness. 

We have so many great examples in the scriptures of people who have applied the principles taught in these verses. There is Christ Himself, of course, who prayed to Heavenly Father on behalf of those who were in the process of crucifying Him (Luke 23:33-34, Bible). There is the prophet Alma who prayed so fervently for the people of Ammonihah and returned so willingly to teach them again, even after they reviled him, spit upon him, and cast him out of their city (Alma 8:8-18, Book of Mormon). His great love for them and his willingness to continue to reach out to them even in the face of extreme persecution led many of them to have a change of heart, repent, and turn to God (Alma 14:1). Both the sons of Mosiah and Nephi and Lehi, the sons of Helaman, were cast into prison, beaten, starved, and threatened with death by those they were trying to help and teach, but they refused to give up, and their continued love and service brought many people to a knowledge of the truth that allowed them to change and reach their potential as children of God. 

These are just a few examples, but they show the miracles that are possible when we truly have charity towards others and love them the way Christ does, even when they hurt or disappoint us through ignorance or maliciousness. We must all strive to develop the kind of eternal perspective that allows us to see others the way God sees them, as children learning and growing and making so many mistakes as they work through their weaknesses and their misconceptions of the world and of those around them. May we all strive to be a little kinder, a little more patient, and a little quicker to forgive those around us is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.