Truth Is Independent of Feelings

Truth is independent of feelings.

This has been a hard-won truth for me. For the last year or so, I have been battling a lot of feelings and emotions that have clouded my vision and kept me from seeing my life and relationships clearly and truthfully. There were times that I felt very loved in certain relationships and times when I felt very unloved. The truth that people loved me remained constant, but sometimes I could feel that love and sometimes I couldn't, but whether I could feel it or not did not change the truth that they loved me, just my ability to perceive it. I had a lot of false beliefs and unrealistic expectations of how someone who loved me would think or feel or speak or act that were causing a disconnect for me between the truth of other people's love for me and my ability to feel that love. Once I worked through a lot of those false ideas, it became so much easier for me to see and feel the truth of other people's love for me. 

This experience has taught me that there is often a disconnect between truth and our feelings, that truth is independent of how we might feel at any given moment. Feelings are real, but they are very often not a reflection of truth. For example, sometimes we might feel that we are of great worth, while at other times we might feel completely worthless. It is not the truth of our innate worth as a person or as a child of God that is flip-flopping from one minute to the next; it is only our ability to feel that we are of worth that is changing. It is the same when we have times when we feel that our life is hopeless; that is a real feeling, but it does not reflect truth. When we push through the hard feelings, we will discover the truth that there is still a lot of hope and joy in our future, especially as we draw on the healing and strength that is available to us through Christ's atonement.

We can explain things in our heads in all sorts of different ways that capture varying amounts of the truth and make us feel all sorts of different ways. It really is a gift from God and an amazing ability God has to see things "as they really are" in an eternal perspective rather than through the variety of lenses we use to see and interpret the world around us here on earth. How we explain things to ourselves is so important because it influences how we feel and how we act. Satan loves for us to believe explanations of the world or of others that lead us to make choices that are destructive to ourselves and/or to others.

Our underlying beliefs and thought patterns cannot change truth, but they can have a huge effect on how we feel. I think a lot of God's counsel and teachings are to help us see our life, circumstances and relationships in a more eternal, truthful way. For example, when someone does or says something that hurts us, we can choose to dwell on that temporary hurt and see and treat that person as that one action (a very incomplete and untruthful image of anyone) and ourselves as a victim of that action, or we can choose to follow God's commandment and forgive that person and let go of the hurt and focus instead on the eternal truth that Christ paid for both their unChristlike action and the pain we experienced because of it and because of that that person can learn and change and be forgiven and we can be healed of the hurt their imperfections caused us. 

I feel like in today’s world, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on people's feelings determining who they are or what truth is, and I think this is a very dangerous trend that is drawing people further and further away from eternal truths. Society seems to be subscribing more and more to the philosophy, “if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. If it feels good, do it.” If you aren’t feeling fulfilled in your marriage, then get out. If you love someone and want to have sex with them, then do it. If trying to keep God’s commandments is hard and makes you feel bad or guilty sometimes, then stop trying. God loves you and wants you to feel happy all the time, so if trying to keep His commandments doesn’t make you feel happy, then you don’t need to worry about them; they obviously don’t apply to you. God will love you no matter what you do. Do what feels good to you and makes you happy.

Satan is so good at twisting truth. Of course God wants you to be happy. Of course God will love you no matter what you do. But there is more to it than that. God’s goal is not for you just to be happy in the moment: God’s goal is for you to have the maximum amount of joy possible for eternity. God will love you no matter what you do, but He also knows that some actions you choose will lead you to the eternal joy He wants for you and some actions you choose will not. His love for you and His desire for your eternal happiness is what leads Him to give His children commandments, to tell them the truth about what choices they need to make to achieve their divine potential, become like Him and enjoy the joy and peace He enjoys. The truth is that some things that will bring us eternal joy can also be very, very difficult and cause us a lot of heartache, discomfort and suffering in the moment. That’s where faith comes in.

God’s knowledge of eternal truths is much, much greater than ours. We are blinded in many ways by the fallen world we live in and the feelings and temptations that come with imperfect, mortal bodies. Many of our natural inclinations and feelings do not align with eternal truths. Our job here on earth is to learn to master our bodies and the thoughts and emotions that come with them, not just let them sweep us along here or there. We have the power to determine our destiny, what we do and who we become, and God teaches us how to use that power wisely. 

It takes a lot of faith and trust in God to follow His words when it goes against how we are feeling. When someone hurts us, turning the other cheek is not what we feel like doing. Neither is loving, blessing, doing good to, or praying for people who curse, hate, or persecute us. But God asks us to master our emotions and act in a Christlike manner towards all of His children, no matter how they choose to treat us at any given moment. He knows the eternal truth that each person is His child with the potential to become like Him, no matter how far they still have to go to get there. Through Christ’s atonement, all God’s children can repent and change, no matter how many mistakes they have made on their mortal journey or how many people they have hurt. The atonement paid for all that, and God asks us to treat all of His children with love and forgiveness as they grow and learn, one small step at a time, doing all sorts of wrongs in the meantime that they have no way of making right, but that Christ has chosen to take on Himself so that He can give forgiveness and relief from sins and their consequences to all who choose to follow Him and accept the gift of His atonement.

Our innate worth and divine potential as children of God is real and eternal, no matter how we feel about ourselves or how others may feel about us at any given moment. God has also revealed that “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” and that “the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the Word” https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng). Whatever our feelings may be, these are real and eternal truths that God has revealed to His prophets to help us clearly understand His plan for His children and what choices and actions will allow us to reach our divine potential and help others reach theirs. The blessings that come from keeping God's commandments are real and eternal, whether it feels difficult to keep them or not.

Only God is able to see all things as they truly were, are and will be, which is why He asks us to trust Him and submit to His will, even when our feelings make us want to make other choices. When we humble ourselves, trust God, and strive to align our will with His, praying to see things as He sees them, and committing to act according to our knowledge of the truths He has and will reveal to us personally or through His prophets, we will be able to see through the dark swirling mists of our unhelpful feelings to the light and truth He has to show us. And once we see things in the more truthful light of God's eternal perspective, then we will feel the feelings of peace, love and joy that come when we have the Holy Ghost with us.

I can testify from personal experience that your feelings and perspective change as you become converted unto the Lord and become one with Him. It can be a very slow, grueling process, with many setbacks and many false beliefs to discover and tackle one by one, each with tons of unhelpful, excruciating feelings attached that make it so hard to see and hold on to the truth. When you keep pressing on in your pursuit of truth and don't give up though, God will continue to teach you "line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little," as you are prepared to receive it. 

I am so grateful for those who have been kind and patient and forgiving with me as I have gone through my learning processes, and I hope to be able to extend the same love, kindness, and compassion to others as they wrestle with their own painful emotions and false beliefs, seeking truth. I know God is there to help each of us on each step of our journey back to Him and that He will never give up on us, no matter how long it takes us to come to trust Him and make the tough sacrifices He asks us to make so that we can become like Him and receive the blessings He is eagerly waiting to shower upon us. The cool thing is, that the things we think we have to have to be happy that God is asking us to give up (these are different for each person) are actually not the key to our happiness at all. God knows the key, and when we trust Him enough to do what He asks even when it's hard, we will discover that He was right all along and that the sacrifices we make that we thought meant giving up happiness actually open the door to true, lasting happiness and peace. 

I am so grateful for a kind, wise Heavenly Father who is so patient with me as I make mistakes, learn, and slowly come to trust Him and for His willingness to help me replace my false beliefs and the painful emotions that come with them with truths that bring increased peace and joy into my life.

Easter Message: The Act and Purpose of Crying Repentance

I've been thinking about repentance, and more specifically about the act of calling people to repentance. Prophets do that a lot in the scriptures, as did Christ when He was on the earth, as did His apostles then, and as do His prophet and apostles on the earth today. All disciples of Christ, in fact, have a responsibility to teach and bear witness of Christ and of the truth of His gospel and to invite people to come unto Christ and repent.

Most of the time, we tend to focus on the wrong part of the process of calling people to repentance. We get all hung up on the fact that someone is telling us or others that they are doing something wrong. The only thing we see is that we are being judged and condemned.

The whole point of telling people they are doing something wrong is not to condemn them. The whole point in telling them is so they can change and start making choices that will bring them greater peace and happiness. If God's goal was to condemn us, He would just let us keep making bad choices and not bother telling us which choices would actually make us the most happy in the long-term. He wants us to be happy and achieve our greatest potential though. That's the whole reason He sends prophets and apostles to teach us and why He sent His Son to perform the atonement: so we can change. So we can repent and be forgiven and make the choices that will allow us to become like God and return to His presence and partake of the same eternal joy and increase that He enjoys.

There are so many good examples in the scriptures of God trying to teach people this concept. Take the story of Cain, for example. Cain and his brother Abel both offer God a sacrifice. Abel's sacrifice follows the laws of sacrifice that God taught to Adam and Eve and is accepted. Cain's sacrifice does not follow the laws of sacrifice laid down by the Lord and is rejected. Cain gets upset that his offering was not accepted. This is the Lord's response to Cain:

Genesis 4:6-7 (Bible, King James version)
6 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.”

God explains to Cain that getting all upset about having his offering rejected is unnecessary and even counterproductive. All he needs to do is change and do well, follow the Lord’s instructions, and his offering will be accepted. God’s response to his imperfect offering is an opportunity to learn and change, not a punishment or evidence that God is playing favorites. God is teaching His son Cain about choices and consequences. Cain has control over what choices he makes, but he does not have control over the consequences of those choices. God wants to make sure Cain clearly understands the consequences that come with each choice, which choices have good consequences and which choices have bad consequences, so he can choose wisely. He also wants Cain to know that if he makes a wrong choice, all is not lost; all he needs to do is change and make a better choice the next time.

That's the message of Easter. It is a joyful message that, thanks to Christ's atonement, all is not lost, no matter what we have done or how many poor choices we have made. God doesn't care how long it takes us to learn to choose well. All He cares about is that we start heading in the right direction now.

The Lord teaches this concept again in the Old Testament to the prophet Ezekial.

Ezekial 18:20-32 (Bible, King James version)
20 The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.
21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?
24 But when the righteous turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? All his righteousness that he hath done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he hath trespassed, and in his sin that he hath sinned, in them shall he die.
25 Yet ye say, The way of the Lord is not equal. Hear now, O house of Israel; Is not my way equal? are not your ways unequal?
26 When a righteous man turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and dieth in them; for his iniquity that he hath done shall he die.
27 Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.
28 Because he considereth, and turneth away from all his transgressions that he hath committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
29 Yet saith the house of Israel, The way of the Lord is not equal. O house of Israel, are not my ways equal? are not your ways unequal?
30 Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord God. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.
31 Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?
32 For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord God: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye.

The Lord is again explaining the consequences of righteous choices versus wicked choices, between choices that will ultimately bring us eternal joy and choices that will ultimately bring us sorrow, regret and misery. The Lord emphasizes the point that He takes no pleasure in the death or separation from Him of His children who choose poorly. His greatest desire is for them to repent, change, and start making good choices so that they can live with Him again in eternal joy. He asks His children, why will ye die? Why do you insist on making choices that will not bring you happiness? I do not choose that for you. I have no desire for you to have negative consequences. That's why I send my prophets to teach you and my Son to atone for you. I want life and happiness for you. Please repent and choose well and come back to me. I leave you the choice, but I will do everything in my power to give you the opportunity to make the choice to do well and come home to me.

It is not God's desire to condemn His children that motivates Him to send prophets and missionaries to call people to repentance; it is His desire to extend mercy to His children that motivates Him. He wants all of His children to clearly understand the consequences of the choices they are making so that they have the power to choose wisely. He also wants them to know the joyful message that through the suffering and sacrifice of His perfect Son, they have the opportunity to be washed clean from past sins and mistakes and the power to change and become like God and partake of eternal joy with Him. That is the glorious message of Easter. Christ lives, and so can we. The choice is ours. May we listen to the voices of God's messengers and choose wisely. I leave you this Easter message in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

P.S. This year, Easter weekend is the same weekend as the semi-annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, when the current prophet and 12 apostles chosen by Jesus Christ to lead His church in our day will speak and give us counsel and direction they have received from the Lord through His Spirit. Stream it for free on lds.org on Saturday and Easter Sunday! There will be many great messages about the Savior and how we can apply His teachings in our lives! The meetings are at 10AM and 2PM MST both Saturday and Sunday. Recordings of the meetings will also be available afterwards if you don't catch them live. Happy Easter!

I'm not a crafty person

I've never been a crafty person, so I normally do not use my blog to show off crafty things I have done (mostly since I have not done any). However, at Christmas time I came up with an idea for a project that forced me to get out of my comfort zone and dabble a bit in the world of craftiness in order to complete it. Luckily, I have a great husband who is more crafty than I am and was able to help me out when things got too crafty for me to handle. I would tell him, this is what I want, and then he would make it happen in real life. Husbands are so great, especially mine :)

So, the inspiration for this project came because I really wanted to focus on Christ and the true meaning of Christmas during this last Christmas season. I feel like during December there are a lot of things that remind you of the story of the birth of the Savior (since that is what Christmas is a celebration of), but I wanted to focus more on Jesus Christ Himself, who He was, and how I could become more like Him. So I came up with an idea for an advent calendar that would focus not on the birth of the Savior, but on the attributes of the Savior. I came up with 25 different attributes of Jesus Christ, a symbol to represent each of them, and then designed ornaments to put on a magnetic Christmas tree. I also came up with scriptures to go with each attribute. Since coming up with just one scripture for each attribute would have been impossible (there are too many good ones), and since you don't want to just read the same thing every year, I actually came up with 10 years worth of scriptures for each attribute. So each year you read a different set of scriptures (I numbered the scriptures for each attribute from 1-10).

Anyway, so I've been working on this project since December, and I finally completed it, and I wanted to share my finished product with you. I hope that it helps my family focus on the Savior and the true meaning of Christmas each December. Now I can't wait for Christmas to come again so we can use it! :)

So, that's what it looks like. And then here's the list of attributes that are represented on the ornaments with the scriptures that go with them:

Advocate

1. D&C 29:5

2. Mosiah 15:7-9

3. Isaiah 53:12

4. 1 John 2:1-2; Moroni 7:28

5. D&C 45:3-5

6. D&C 62:1

7. D&C 110:1-5

8. 3 Nephi 17:13-17

9. 1 Timothy 2:5-6; 2 Nephi 2:9-10

10. Micah 7:9

Bread of Life

1. John 6:35

2. Alma 5:33-34

3. Deut 8:2-3

4. John 6:47-51

5. 2 Nephi 9:50-51

6. 3 Nephi 20:3-9

7. Isaiah 55:1-3

8. Revelation 7:13-17

9. John 4:7-14

10. Matthew 14:15-21

Charity

1. Matthew 5:43-48

2. Matthew 22:36-40

3. Luke 6:27-38

4. Luke 10:25-37

5. Moroni 7:45-48

6. 1 Cor 13

7. 1 Peter 4:8; D&C 88:125

8. Romans 8:35, 37-39

9. 1 John 4:7-21

10. 1 Nephi 11:14-23

Creator

1. D&C 93:8-10

2. Mosiah 3:8

3. D&C 38:1-3

4. D&C 76:22-24

5. Moses 1:31-33

6. 3 Nephi 9:15

7. 2 Nephi 2:14-16

8. D&C 88:41-47

9. Moses 2:26-27

10. Isaiah 45:11-12

Diligence

1. D&C 64:33-34; Mosiah 4:27

2. Helaman 10:4-5

3. D&C 6:20; D&C 90:24; D&C 88:63

4. Mosiah 7:33; D&C 104:78-80

5. Jacob 5:70-75

6. Alma 37:38-46

7. Luke 9:23-24; D&C 127:4

8.Moroni 9:3-6

9. D&C 107:99-100; D&C 58:26-28

10. D&C 75:2-5; D&C 123:12-17

Eternal Perspective

1. Matthew 6:19-21

2. Jacob 2:18-19

3. Mark 10:21

4. D&C 58:2-4; 2 Nephi 9:18

5. D&C 19:16-19

6. Alma 32:41-43

7. 1 Peter 1:3-9

8. Matthew 5:10-12; D&C 101:35-38

9. Luke 12:15-34

10. D&C 121:7-8

Exemplar

1. 2 Nephi 31:6-21

2. John 13:13-15

3. John 14:6

4. 1 Peter 2:21-23

5. John 10:27-28

6. 3 Nephi 12:48

7. 3 Nephi 18:5-7

8. 3 Nephi 18:16, 24-25

9. 3 Nephi 27:21-22

10. 3 Nephi 27:27

Faith

1. Alma 32:21-22, 26-30, 41-43

2. Mark 5:22-42

3. Matthew 14:25-32; Ephesians 6:13-16

4. Luke 17:5-10; Daniel 3:17-18

5. D&C 63:8-12; Ether 12:6-9

6. Alma 34:15-18; James 2:14-22, 26

7. Enos 1:4-18

8. 3 Nephi 19:16-36

9. Ether 3:4-20, Ether 4:7

10. 1 Nephi 17:49-51; Moroni 7:33; Philippians 4:13

Good Shepherd

1. Psalms 23

2. D&C 50:40-42, 44

3. Isaiah 40:11

4. Ezekial 34:1-16, 25-28

5. John 10:14-16

6. Hebrews 13:20-21

7. 1 Peter 5:1-4

8. 1 Nephi 22:25

9. Mosiah 26:20-21

10. Alma 5:37-41, 60

Healer

1. Alma 7:10-12

2. Alma 33:19-23

3. Matthew 8:14-17; Luke 13:10-13

4. Mark 5:25-34

5. James 5:13-16

6. Luke 6:17-19; 3 Nephi 17:5-9

7. Isaiah 53:3-5; 1 Peter 2:24

8. 1 Nephi 11:31

9. Mosiah 3:5-6; Matthew 4:23-24

10. Exodus 15:26; 2 Chronicles 7:14

Hope

1. Ether 12:4

2. 2 Nephi 31:20

3. Isaiah 1:18

4. Alma 22:16

5. Romans 5:3-5

6. Romans 8:24-25

7. Romans 15:4

8. Ether 12:32

9. Moroni 7:40-42

10. Romans 15:13

Humility

1. Matthew 18:2-4; Mosiah 3:19

2. Matthew 11:28-30; D&C 12:8; D&C 112:10

3. Alma 13:27-29; Moroni 8:26

4. Hebrews 12:5-11; Jacob 4:10

5. Ether 12:27; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

6. Luke 18:9-17; D&C 97:1-2

7. Philippians 2:3-11

8. D&C 136:31-33; Alma 32:12-16

9. Helaman 3:33-35; Colossians 3:12-15

10. Matthew 5:5; Isaiah 61:1

Knowledge

1. Isaiah 11:1-5

2. Mosiah 4:11-12; Alma 17:1-4; Alma 26:22

3. 2 Nephi 9:20; 2 Nephi 2:24; D&C 101:32-34

4. Ephesians 4:11-15; D&C 84:19-20; D&C 88:118

5. Moroni 10:4-5; James 1:5-6; D&C 9:7-8; D&C 42:61

6. D&C 93:19-20, 24-28, 36-37, 39-40; Moroni 7:15-19; John 17:3

7. Moses 5:4-12

8. 2 Chronicles 1:7-12; Proverbs 3:13-26; Proverbs 9:8-10

9. Isaiah 5:13; D&C 131:6; D&C 130:18-19

10. D&C 121:26-33; 2 Nephi 32:3-5; D&C 76:5-10

Lamb of God

1. Isaiah 53:7; Mosiah 15:6-8

2. Moses 5:4-7; Alma 34:10-15

3. 1 Nephi 10:7-10; John 1:29-37

4. 1 Peter 1:18-21

5. Revelation 5

6. Revelation 7:9-17

7. 1 Nephi 12:6-11

8. D&C 133:17-19; D&C 65

9. 1 Nephi 13:40; Alma 7:14

10. D&C 88:106-107

Light of the World

1. D&C 93:1-2, 6-9; D&C 84:45-47

2. Isaiah 60:19-20; Revelation 21:23-24

3. Isaiah 9:2; Matthew 4:12-17

4. Micah 7:7-9; Mosiah 16:9

5. Luke 2:25-33

6. John 1:1-9

7. John 8:12; John 12:35-36; 2 Nephi 10:13-14

8. 3 Nephi 11:10-11

9. 2 Samuel 22:29; Psalms 27:1; Isaiah 2:5

10. D&C 6:21; D&C 88:49-50, 67

Merciful

1. Hebrews 4:14-16; Isaiah 55:6-9; Isaiah 1:18

2. Luke 6:35-38; Matthew 18:21-35

3. Alma 36:12-21; Proverbs 16:6-7

4. Matthew 5:7, 38-42; Alma 26:12-20, 35-37

5. Moroni 10:3; Nehemiah 9:13-20, 30-31; Hosea 14:4; Isaiah 54:7-8, 10

6. Deuteronomy 4:27-31; 2 Chronicles 30:9; Jeremiah 29:4-7, 10-14 (see footnote 11a)

7. D&C 101:1-9; Mosiah 29:18-20; Psalms 32:10

8. Matthew 9:11-13; John 8:3-11

9. Alma 42:14-31

10. Luke 15; D&C 18:10-13; D&C 128:19

Minister

1. Luke 10:25-37

2. John 13:3-17; Matthew 20:25-28

3. Matthew 25:31-40; Mosiah 2:17; John 21:14-17

4. Mosiah 18:8-10; Moroni 6:3-5; D&C 84:106; Isaiah 35:3

5. D&C 42:29-31, 34; Isaiah 58:6-11; Mosiah 4:21, 26

6. Matthew 4:23; Mark 1:38-42; Matthew 15:29-38

7. Luke 4:18-19; Matthew 11:2-5

8. Luke 4:31-44; Mark 2:1-17

9. Matthew 9:35-38; Matthew 10:1, 5-8; Luke 9:6

10. John 5:1-9; Luke 7:11-15

Obedience

1. John 14:15, 21, 23; John 15:10-11

2. D&C 19:24; Luke 22:41-44; Hebrews 5:8-9

3. D&C 56:2

4. 1 Nephi 3:7; 1 Nephi 17:1-3

5. James 1:22-25; Matthew 7:21-27

6. Alma 37:35; Luke 11:28

7. D&C 89:18-21

8. John 7:17

9. D&C 101:43-62

10. 3 Nephi 27:13; Mosiah 15:7

Patience

1. Hebrews 12:1-2; D&C 101:37-38

2. James 5:7-11; D&C 67:13

3. Romans 8:24-25; Hebrews 10:35-36; D&C 98:1-3

4. Romans 5:3-4; James 1:2-4

5. Mosiah 23:21; Mosiah 24:8-16

6. D&C 24:8; D&C 54:10

7. Matthew 18:21-22; 1 Thessalonians 5:14

8. Alma 34:40-41; 1 Peter 2:19-23; Alma 38:3-5

9. Alma 17:11; Alma 26:26-31

10. D&C 98:23-32, 39-48

Prince of Peace

1. Isaiah 9:6

2. John 16:33

3. Matthew 11:28-30; John 14:18

4. Matthew 5:9, 21-24; James 1:19-20

5. Alma 38:8; Mosiah 4:1-3

6. John 14:27

7. Isaiah 54:10-13

8. D&C 19:23

9. Matthew 5:4; D&C 101:16; Isaiah 51:3, 11-12

10. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Rock

1. Helaman 5:12; D&C 50:44 

2. 2 Nephi 9:45

3. Acts 4:10-12

4. Jacob 4:15-16 

5. 1 Peter 2:6-8

6. Psalms 18:2 

7. Psalms 118:21-23; Matthew 21:33-44

8. Isaiah 8:13-15

9. Moses 7:53

10. Ephesians 2:19-21

Savior and Redeemer

1. 2 Nephi 2:6-9, 26-27; 2 Nephi 25:26

2. Isaiah 63:7-9

3. John 3:16-17; 1 John 4:9-10, 14

4. 2 Nephi 1:15

5. Alma 7:9-16

6. Ether 3:14

7. Helaman 5:9

8. Isaiah 53:4-11; Isaiah 25:8-9

9. 1 Nephi 10:4-6; 2 Nephi 9:21-23

10. Mosiah 3:1-13, 17, 20-21

Selfless

1. Mark 8:34-35; Luke 14:27-33

2. Luke 9:57-62; Matthew 19:29

3. Mosiah 3:5-10

4. John 10:15-18; D&C 98:13

5. Mark 6:27-56

6. Mosiah 15:1, 5-8

7. D&C 18:11-13; D&C 19:16-19

8. D&C 4:2-5

9. Matthew 19:16-22; Helaman 10:4-5

10. Hebrews 2:14-18

Teacher

1. Matthew 4:23; Mark 1:21-22

2. 3 Nephi 26:1-14

3. Luke 7:36-48

4. Luke 8:1, 4-15

5. Isaiah 28:9-10; John 14:26

6. Alma 37:32-34

7. Luke 2:42-47

8. D&C 88:77-81, 118-119

9. Romans 10:13-15; 2 Timothy 2:24-26

10. Luke 24:13-32

Virtue

1. 1 John 3:2-3; 1 Timothy 4:12

2. 1 Peter 1:15-19

3. Matthew 5:8; Psalms 24:3-5; D&C 97:15-16

4. Matthew 5:27-30; 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

5. 1 Chronicles 28:9 

6. Proverbs 31:10-12 

7. Philippians 4:8-9; Article of Faith 13

8. D&C 133:4-6; D&C 38:24

9. D&C 88:67-68, 74-75; D&C 121:45-46

10. Mormon 9:28-29; D&C 59:9-12

And I'll just leave you with one last scripture that I read this week during my scripture study and really liked that seems to fit well with this theme of focusing on the Savior:

Omni 1:26 (Book of Mormon)
"And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved."

I know that Jesus Christ lives, and I am so grateful for the perfect man He is and His willingness to suffer and die for the sins of all God's children so that we can all have the opportunity to repent, learn, change, and become like our Father in Heaven and return to live with Him and with our families after this life. What a beautiful gift Christ has given us. I leave these thoughts with you in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.

Love Your Enemies

Ted and I were reading in Matthew chapter 5 today for our family scripture study, and verses 38-48 hit me hard. These are the verses that talk about turning the other cheek, loving your enemies, blessing those that curse you, doing good to those who hate you, and praying for those who despitefully use you and persecute you. I feel like I need to put these verses up on my wall to read often. 

It is so easy to get caught up in the world's view that this person deserves this kind of treatment because he/she was rude to me. Or, I'm not speaking to this person because he/she did this. We are so quick to punish other people when they hurt or disappoint us in some way by treating them unkindly or disrespectfully or giving them the cold shoulder, and we feel justified in our right to do so. They were mean to me, so I have a right, even an obligation, to treat them like this in return. We do this over the smallest unintended slights, when, in reality, we never have any justification for treating any of Heavenly Father's children without love, respect and forgiveness, even when they are deliberately going out of their way to hate, belittle, and persecute us. 

Becoming like God, becoming perfect, requires us to see past all the mistakes, sins, and cruelties of others to the potential they have as children of God to repent and change and become like Him through the power of the atonement. We have an obligation to love our spirit brothers and sisters even in their darkest moments, when they are at their worst, and to have the desire to help them out of Satan's clutches and back to the light and truth of Christ. God never gives up on us, and we cannot give up on each other or punish each other for not being perfect yet. As God forgives us for our sins and weaknesses, so must we be quick to forgive each other and treat each other with love and kindness, no matter the provocation. This is true godliness. 

We have so many great examples in the scriptures of people who have applied the principles taught in these verses. There is Christ Himself, of course, who prayed to Heavenly Father on behalf of those who were in the process of crucifying Him (Luke 23:33-34, Bible). There is the prophet Alma who prayed so fervently for the people of Ammonihah and returned so willingly to teach them again, even after they reviled him, spit upon him, and cast him out of their city (Alma 8:8-18, Book of Mormon). His great love for them and his willingness to continue to reach out to them even in the face of extreme persecution led many of them to have a change of heart, repent, and turn to God (Alma 14:1). Both the sons of Mosiah and Nephi and Lehi, the sons of Helaman, were cast into prison, beaten, starved, and threatened with death by those they were trying to help and teach, but they refused to give up, and their continued love and service brought many people to a knowledge of the truth that allowed them to change and reach their potential as children of God. 

These are just a few examples, but they show the miracles that are possible when we truly have charity towards others and love them the way Christ does, even when they hurt or disappoint us through ignorance or maliciousness. We must all strive to develop the kind of eternal perspective that allows us to see others the way God sees them, as children learning and growing and making so many mistakes as they work through their weaknesses and their misconceptions of the world and of those around them. May we all strive to be a little kinder, a little more patient, and a little quicker to forgive those around us is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Purging Myself of False Beliefs

A lot of the learning I have done over the last several months has involved purging myself of false beliefs. A useful skill I have developed during my learning process is tracing my emotions back to the belief that triggered them, and then deciding if that belief is true or false and whether I still want to believe it or not. When you can find the source of your emotions, it gives you the power to change them and makes you feel like much less of a victim. Here are some of the false beliefs I have discovered and had to purge myself of so far:

1. Life is about spending time with people you love. This is false. This is a great perk to life, but it is not what life is about. Life is about learning to become like God and helping others do the same. It’s about using the talents I have been given to build God's kingdom on the earth and bless others' lives and become better in the process. I can't just center my life on others and live their life instead of my own, like I have a tendency to do with people I love a lot. Like Christ explains in His parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), I can't bury or neglect my own talents; I have to use my time here on earth wisely and make my own plans and goals to improve myself and bless others, not just hang around cool people and expect them to make me happy and save me instead of the Savior. This is not the path to lasting joy and fulfillment. I have to put God and loving and serving Him first. I often get in trouble by switching up those first two commandments. The first commandment is “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” and the second is “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:36-40). When I start loving others with all my heart, soul and mind and keep God at a distance, that’s when I get into trouble. It was a little tricky to figure this false belief out, because loving other people is a good thing, but when I put loving other people before loving and serving God, my life starts to get out of balance and the peace and joy that comes from having my will aligned with the Lord’s is missing.
   
   
2. I can control how others feel about me. This is also false. I realized that in my life I’ve always tried to do everything “right” so that people would have no excuse not to like me. I thought that if I was nice and thoughtful and serviceable enough, I could control the way other people felt about me. This is not true. It doesn't matter how nice or thoughtful or serviceable I am: I can't make someone love me more than they choose to love me or give me more in the relationship than they choose to give. As evidenced by the life of the Savior, even if I was a perfect person and did everything perfectly, people could still choose not to like me. And I am far from perfect. I have to let other people make their own choices about whether they want to love me in spite of my imperfections and weaknesses. I need to stop loving and serving others with strings attached, trying to obligate other people to love, protect and take care of me by offering them martyr-like service instead of setting appropriate boundaries on what I am willing to do and allowing others to set their own boundaries. People don't like being forced into loving someone; they want to make that choice freely, not guilted into it because you go to such great lengths to be nice and thoughtful and to serve them.
   
   
3. Other people's ideas, beliefs, or opinions are more correct and/or important than my own. If someone disagrees with my idea or opinion, it means they don't like me. If I have a bad or flawed idea, this makes me a bad person. These are all false beliefs. My own ideas, beliefs, and opinions are just as valid and important as anyone else's. Just because someone else has a certain opinion and declares it very boldly and confidently does not make it true. Other people disapproving of what I am doing does not necessarily make what I am doing wrong. Other people having different opinions than me doesn't make my opinions wrong or of less intrinsic value, nor does it make me of less intrinsic value. It's very possible to disagree with someone and still love them and not think any less of them. Having an idea that doesn't work or that has cons is an opportunity to learn and come up with a different idea, not a reason to repent.

A lot of the things I've been learning are probably obvious to a lot of people, but they were not obvious to me. I didn't even realize I believed a lot of these things until recently. It can be hard to recognize the underlying assumptions you are making that are guiding your thoughts, feelings and actions. Not until you recognize these assumptions do you have the power to question them and to change them.

All the false beliefs I've been recognizing in myself have made me more aware of the beliefs that other people hold and are using to guide their thoughts and decisions. For example, I recently took a survey about my thoughts on the equality of men and women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a pretty biased survey; you could tell what opinions the survey writers held on the matter, and I definitely felt from the questions and the answer options I was given like I was being pushed to give evidence for their opinions rather than being given the opportunity to honestly communicate my own thoughts.

One specific question on the survey really stood out to me though because of the false belief I recognized behind the question. The question asked something along the lines of, if women held more leadership roles in the church, how would that affect your religious/spiritual life? This question assumes that other people can have a significant influence on a person's personal religious/spiritual life. This is false. The quality of my religious/spiritual life completely depends on me and the personal relationship that I develop with my Heavenly Father. Other people only have as much power over my religious/spiritual life as I give them. Other people's choices or responsibilities in the church have nothing to do with my own personal relationship with Deity. As Paul explains so eloquently in Romans 8:35, 37-39:

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We have to take responsibility for the quality of our own religious/spiritual life and not blame any lack we feel in that area on other people or on circumstances that we think are less than ideal. The weaknesses and shortcomings of men and women cannot separate us from the love of God and a rich religious/spiritual life.

As I've discovered and worked to rid myself of the false beliefs I've developed throughout my life and replace them with truth, my heart and my perspective have changed, and I have been able to feel so much more peace and joy in my life and to become so much better of a disciple of Christ.

In honor of the Christmas season, and in celebration of His birth and life, I want to share my personal testimony of Jesus Christ with you.

My Testimony of Jesus Christ

I know Jesus Christ lives. I know that He came to earth to free us from sin and death. I know that through His atonement we can be cleansed from all our sins and have our hearts changed. I have seen my own heart change as I have humbly sought His will for me and prayed sincerely for help to change. I know that the more we align our lives with God's will, the more joy and peace we will feel, no matter what hardships we are facing. Christ really is the Prince of Peace and can give us peace and comfort that passes understanding even in the darkest times of our lives. As we learn to follow His example and become true disciples of Christ, we will come to a greater understanding of spiritual truths and our burdens will be lightened.

I know that we each had a personal relationship with our Savior before this life and that He wants nothing more than to see us safely back home again with our Father in Heaven and has made that possible for each one of us through His atonement and is cheering us on every step of the way. He is patient and forgiving of our weaknesses, empathetic to our sorrows and struggles, and joyous at our triumphs. He is our Savior and Redeemer, our advocate with the Father, and a true and trusted friend to all who humbly seek Him. My gift to Him and to you this holiday season is to share my testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ, in His name, amen.

Have I Done Any Good?

I realized today that throughout my life I've often used other people's reactions to me as a type of barometer to gauge how my life is going and how I am doing as a person. There are several problems with this approach to life. First of all, the way other people react to me is a better reflection of who they are and of the choices they are making than of who I am or of my choices. Second, other people are imperfect, and the way they react to me at any given time is often influenced by all sorts of things that have nothing to do with me at all. Third, even if other people are thinking nice things about me all the time, I often attribute negative thoughts and emotions to them that they never even had in the first place. So, all around, using other people and their reactions to me as an indication of the quality of either my life or myself is a very bad plan and makes for a terribly inaccurate barometer.

So I decided that I needed a replacement barometer for my life. What could I use in place of the reactions of others to let me know how I was doing and how my life was going? I thought of God's love first, but then I decided that's not much of a barometer, since even if I was a terrible person and doing terrible things, God would still love me. Then I thought of gauging it by how well I'm keeping commandments, but since I am also imperfect, gauging my life by how perfectly I am doing everything I am supposed to sounds like a quick way to drowned in an ocean of guilt. 

I finally hit on a replacement barometer that I feel good about. There's a song called "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?" that we sing at church sometimes. When I thought of it, I decided that gauging myself and my life by the good I have done or have tried to do each day is a much better indicator of where I am and of how I should feel about myself and my life. I do some good each day, not always the same good, but always some good. The product of my efforts to do good will often be imperfect, and sometimes others may choose not to accept the efforts I make, but that doesn't change the fact that I tried to do good the best way I knew how to at that time. Then each day I can offer all the good I have tried to do to God and ask Him to bless and multiply my efforts and use them to further His work of salvation for His children on the earth. I offer what I can give, and then God does the rest, like when the lad offered his five barley loaves and two small fishes, and Jesus used them to feed five thousand people (John 6:9-14, King James Bible). That's how you live a good life: do what good you can each day, try to improve when you make mistakes, forgive others for their mistakes, and ask God to guide your efforts and to use them to further His divine work for His children. And that's my new barometer: What good have I done in the world today?

Learning to Trust God

I've always been a little afraid of trusting God. I knew that God sometimes lets bad things happen to people or asks people to do really hard, scary things. I thought I knew what I needed to be happy, and I thought if I let God decide, He would take those things away. Through recent experience, I've realized that pursuing what I thought I needed to be happy has actually led to a lot more suffering and heartache than just trusting God and humbly following His plan for me would have. God knows what I need to find joy and peace in my life; I just need to trust Him. I'm finally in a humble enough place to do that, to say to God, I will do whatever you ask of me. I know your way is the best way to love, light, peace, joy, and comfort.

I think often we try to use things other than God to fill the void that is left in our lives while we are here on earth separated from God's presence and the feeling of His infinite love for us. I often try to use other people and their love to fill that void. Trying to use other imperfect people to save you and to meet all your needs doesn't work very well though. Other people, no matter how wonderful, will inevitably let you down or fall short in some way. Only God has a perfect knowledge of you and the capacity to fulfill every need, to heal every wound, and to comfort every sorrow. We are told again and again in the scriptures to put our trust in God and not in the arm of flesh, and yet people and positions and possessions here often seem so much easier to trust, so much surer of a way to gain the happiness we are seeking.

Based on my recent experiences, I can testify that when you choose to let go of whatever you are holding onto instead of God and turn to the Lord for the love, validation, relief, fulfillment, or comfort you are seeking, He will not let you down. The Lord will support you and fill every need as you seek to know His will for you and to follow it. Letting go can be really painful, but once you've worked through all the painful emotions and all the false beliefs and assumptions you've been living by, the Holy Ghost is there to teach you, and you realize that God was right there next to you waiting to help you all along, but you were too distracted by whatever you were holding onto instead to see Him. But once you've humbled yourself enough to change, to ask for help and to be taught, He is there. This is what I've learned.

Learning to trust God more has helped change my perspective on life in a lot of positive ways. I've always had a big problem with fear of man and letting my life and emotions be run by other people's opinions and expectations of me. It's actually very freeing to realize that God's expectations of me are the only ones that matter. Getting my love and validation from Him instead of from other imperfect people solves so many of my fears and problems.

Trusting God and knowing that He is ultimately in charge and that He is just as invested in each of His children as I could ever possibly be also makes it a lot easier to trust others and to let them make their own decisions without having to try to control them. I don't need to take saving others upon myself; God's going to take care of that. All I need to do is love them, pray for them, and follow any promptings I receive from the Lord on what He may need me to do on His behalf to help them at a certain moment. But He is the one that will ultimately teach me and teach them what we need to know and do to gain salvation. Another burden I thought I had to carry that I really don't.

It's amazing how many false ideas and assumptions we get in our heads and then live our lives by during this life. The gift of the Holy Ghost that we receive at baptism is such an important, precious gift from the Lord to help us challenge those assumptions and learn truth little by little throughout our lives as we humble ourselves enough to listen. I've been reading a book by M. Catherine Thomas, a former BYU religion professor, called Spiritual Lightening. It's like she wrote this book for me and for this exact moment in my life. She talks a lot about the importance of studying and really coming to know and live by God's word and how when we believe things that aren't true and live our lives based on those untruths it makes our burdens so much heavier than they need to be. Learning the truth through the Holy Ghost, prayer, and the word of God will result in a spiritual lightening of our burdens. I feel like the Holy Ghost has been teaching me so much lately, and it really has lightened my load and given me so much clearer of a perspective on life and on what God expects of me. The Holy Ghost and the truths He has been teaching me have been hard to learn, but in the end they have brought so much peace and understanding and joy to my life.

Here are some of the scriptures that have been meaningful to me throughout my learning process that I wanted to share with you:

Doctrine and Covenants 42:61

61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things--that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.

Galatians 5:22-23 (King James Bible)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance...

Jacob 4:13 (Book of Mormon)

"...the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls."

Moses 6:61 (Pearl of Great Price)

61 Therefore it is given to abide in you; the record of heaven; the Comforter; the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment.

Job 23:8-10 (King James Bible)

8 Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:

9 On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him:

10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Mosiah 7:29, 33 (Book of Mormon)

29 For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.

33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

John 6:35 (King James Bible)

35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

I know that as you come to trust God and dedicate your life to Him and His work, you will find the peace and joy you have been searching for and you will be filled. Pray humbly and sincerely, study the scriptures, and live by His word. He will be there to bear you up in your afflictions, teach you and love you. I know this to be true. I share these things with you in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.