How Can You Feel Grateful In All Things and At All Times?

I was reading over a talk I gave in church a little over a year ago, not too long after we moved to Heber, and I decided it would be a good thing to share on my blog. Here it is.

November 9, 2014
TOPIC: Gratitude in all things and at all times

The topic I was assigned for my talk today is "gratitude in all things and at all times." So, the question is, “How can we feel gratitude even when we are facing trials and difficult times in our lives? What is the source of this gratitude that transcends the suffering we sometimes experience here in mortality?

People often joke that they have read the first verse of the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:1, more times than any other verse in the Book of Mormon. If you start reading the Book of Mormon and that’s as far as you get, you’ve actually already learned quite a bit from the very wise prophet Nephi. Let’s take a look at that first verse: 

I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; 

• Nephi had good parents who taught him well, which is very important, but this next part is the part I want to focus on:

and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; 

• This sounds like a contradiction. How can you both have many afflictions and at the same time be highly favored of the Lord? We know Nephi did indeed experience many afflictions in his days. He had to leave his home in Jerusalem and all his possessions, travel in the wilderness for a long time where sometimes food was scarce, his older brothers hated him and tried to kill him multiple times. And yet, although Nephi acknowledges that he’s seen many afflictions in the course of his days, in the same breath he says that he has been highly favored of the Lord in all his days. It seems like Nephi has figured it out, how to be grateful even in hard times. Let's keep reading and see if he gives us any clues to this secret. Nephi goes on to say:

yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God,therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days. 

• Nephi feels blessed and highly favored of the Lord because of his knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God
• We often think that there are certain things we need in order to feel happy and blessed in our lives: maybe we think we need a nice home, or to get into the college that we want, or to get a certain job that we want, or to get married, or for our kids to behave and make good choices, or for our health to improve
• Nephi is teaching us that it is knowledge of God and His goodness and of eternal truths that brings us peace and hope in the midst of affliction, that allows us to feel greatly blessed, no matter our circumstances. 

How can knowledge of God and His goodness help us in times of trial? 

President Uchtdorf tells us that "Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true." He says that "True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony" (“Grateful in Any Circumstances, Ensign May 2014).

Trusting God is something that I've struggled with a lot in my life. Most recently, this last spring when Ted was getting ready to graduate from USU and was looking for a job, I struggled to trust God in the face of so much change and uncertainty in our future. We had been living in Logan for four years, and I had made a lot of friends and gotten quite comfortable with our life there. I was afraid of having to start over somewhere new where I didn't know anyone. I was pretty sure what I needed to be happy, to live close to people that I loved, and I was afraid that God wasn't going to let me. I didn't feel that I could be grateful unless He did, unless the outcome of Ted's job hunt looked the way I wanted it to look. My struggles with all the changes in my life finally pushed me to humble myself enough to realize that I needed to change the focus of my life. I needed to rely on God and His love to meet my needs, not on other people. When I stopped focusing so much on specific people in my life and my fear of losing them, I was able to see that God had been right there beside me the whole time, but I had been too distracted to notice because I was holding on so tightly to the things I thought I needed to be happy instead of relying on Him and trusting His greater wisdom and knowledge to guide my life. Once I was able to recognize my weakness in this area and work to change and make God and His will the center of my life and trust Him to take care of me, I was able to feel so much more peace.

We are here on earth to gain knowledge and experience and to become like God. For me, the true learning began when I recognized that the way I was going about trying to secure my own happiness was not working. I had a plan, and my plan was not giving me the results I wanted. Realizing that I actually didn't have any idea what I really needed to be happy, that my plan was actually causing me way more suffering than just following God's plan, humbled me enough that I was finally able to say, "Okay, God, you're right. You know best. I thought I knew what I needed to be happy, but I was wrong. I will do things your way. You know what I need to find joy and peace, and I don't. I am ready to accept your plan for my life and trust you to take care of me."

What is it that we actually need to find true joy and peace in our lives? If it isn’t other people or power or possessions, then what is the source of that joy and peace that is available to us even in hard times, when nothing in life seems to be going well? In his famous dream of the Tree of Life, the prophet Lehi finds himself in “a dark and dreary waste” (1 Nephi 8:7). After traveling many hours in darkness, Lehi prays to the Lord for help and relief. It is then that he sees what Lehi describes as “a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass,” Lehi says, “that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted...And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy…” (1 Nephi 8:10-12). Later we learn that the fruit that Lehi ate represents “the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men" and "is the most desirable above all things...and the most joyous to the soul" (1 Nephi 11:21-23). 

God's love - that is the true source of joy and peace. And the great thing is that God's love is something that we can have access to at anytime, no matter what or who else is in our lives. At the time that we make our very first covenant with God, at baptism, our Heavenly Father gives us a great gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost. We learn from Paul in his letter to the Galatians that the fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy and peace (Galatians 5:22). The Holy Ghost helps us feel God's love for us when we are living righteously. Paul also tells us in his letter to the Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of God, not tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword, nor death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature - nothing (Romans 8:35, 38-39). Paul says that "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us" (Romans 8:37). Jesus Christ and His atonement have the power to heal all of our wounds and to purify us of all our sins and weaknesses. What a great blessing this is, and what a reason to be full of gratitude to a loving and merciful Heavenly Father who will not leave us alone in times of distress and who is willing to forgive us time and time again and has a wonderful plan to help us return to Him and gain eternal joy and peace in His loving presence. 

When we gain a true understanding and testimony of God and His goodness and mercy and love, we are able to trust Him, to know in hard times that He is there to help us and that by following His perfect plan a bright future awaits us, that all our sorrows will ultimately be swallowed up in the love of our Redeemer. We know that God will never give up on us or on our loved ones and that His greatest desire is to bring us all safely home to Him and that He will not rest until He has given us every opportunity to make that choice and achieve that glorious objective. 

At the last General Women’s Meeting, Sister Marriott, the second counselor in the YW presidency, shared an experience where during a struggle in her life she turned to the Lord and was able to have her testimony strengthened and her burden lightened as she came to a greater understanding of herself and of her relationship with the Lord. Sister Marriott recounted:

“Some years ago our family encountered a major challenge. I went to the temple and there prayed earnestly for help. I was given a moment of truth. I received a clear impression of my weaknesses, and I was shocked. In that spiritually instructive moment, I saw a prideful woman doing things her own way, not necessarily the Lord’s way, and privately taking credit for any so-called accomplishment. I knew I was looking at myself. I cried out in my heart to Heavenly Father and said, “I don’t want to be that woman, but how do I change?”

Through the pure spirit of revelation in the temple, I was taught of my utter need for a Redeemer. I turned immediately to the Savior Jesus Christ in my thoughts and felt my anguish melt away and a great hope spring up in my heart. He was my only hope, and I longed to cling only to Him. It was clear to me that a self-absorbed natural woman “is an enemy to God” and to people in her sphere of influence. In the temple that day I learned it was only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that my prideful nature could change and that I would be enabled to do good. I felt His love keenly, and I knew He would teach me by the Spirit and change me if I gave my heart to Him, holding back nothing.”

Sister Marriott continued, “I still fight my weaknesses, but I trust in the divine help of the Atonement. This pure instruction came because I entered the holy temple, seeking relief and answers. I entered the temple burdened, and I left knowing I had an all-powerful and all-loving Savior. I was lighter and joyful because I had received His light and accepted His plan for me” (“Sharing Your Light,” Ensign November 2014).

Notice in this example that going to the temple did not make the major challenge in the life of Sister Marriott and her family go away. However, recognizing her weaknesses and calling upon Jesus Christ for help to change allowed Sister Marriott to feel God’s love for her and gain confidence in His ability and willingness to help her and her family achieve their divine potential and the eternal joy He desired for them.

When life seems hard and we feel that we are surrounded by darkness and despair, like Lehi in his dream, sometimes it can be really hard to find Christ’s light and God’s love in the darkness. How do we get out of dark emotional places to a place of gratitude?

When we are in dark places, Satan would love for us to stay there. He is the one that gives us feelings of discouragement and despair, tries to convince us that we are worthless and can never change or accomplish anything good and that our lives are terrible and will never get better. Those feelings do not come from the Spirit. You can tell because they do not motivate you to do good, they just paralyze you. The Spirit gives you feelings of hope and faith that you can change and improve with Christ's help and that God is taking care of you and life will get better. I’ve noticed that it's easier to feel the Spirit in my life when I am pushing forward, making goals, and working to make good things happen in my life and in the lives of others, rather than just sitting around contemplating the things in my life that make me sad or that I wish were different. Like Lehi, often we need to call on the Lord for help to find the light in the darkness. 

When I was struggling with all the changes in my life and trying to change my focus and gain a more eternal perspective on things, I prayed to know what my new focus should be in my life. What I had been focusing on hadn’t been working well for me, so I didn’t want to focus on that anymore, but I needed something to replace it with, something that was worthwhile and that I felt good about. I had just recently had my son Sam and quit working, and I needed to know what my life should be about besides nursing and changing diapers. I decided to read my patriarchal blessing with this question in mind: What should I be doing with my life right now? How should I be using my time? It was like God had just been waiting for me to ask that question. As I read my blessing, I received so much inspiration about what things God expected me to accomplish and work on at this time in my life. I received so many ideas about ways I could use my talents to help build God’s kingdom. It was amazing. And as I worked to implement these ideas, I felt God’s love more in my life and gratitude that I could use my strengths to help bless others’ lives in ways that worked well for me during this new stage in my life.

As I mentioned earlier, the main purpose of this life is to learn how to become like God. That's why we're here. No matter what is happening in our lives, if it is helping us to grow and to seek answers and truth and to change and to become better and stronger and to trust in the Lord more deeply and feel His love more strongly, then we are succeeding in obtaining the treasure we came to earth to find. Struggles help us to be humble and to recognize our need for a Savior and to seek to learn the lessons He is trying to teach us. Lots of times we want to say, "Oh, I'm good. I'm as good as I want to be, I've got all the blessings I need, I don't need to learn anything else.” God loves us too much to let us sell ourselves short though. He knows what experiences we need to become who we need to be to qualify for celestial glory, and He will not settle for any less joy than that for His children. He lets us go through hard things because He knows we need those experiences to be purified and molded and shaped into the best people we can be and to receive the greatest amount of joy in the next life and throughout eternity.

Gratitude comes when we recognize our great need for a Savior and come to know personally that He loves us in spite of all our weaknesses and mistakes and that He is willing to forgive us and bless us as we turn to Him and repent and try to change. His great patience with us as we continue to stumble and fall again and again as we try to become better and more like Him is what creates a spirit of gratitude in our hearts.

Adam and Eve felt this great gratitude in their hearts when, after partaking of the forbidden fruit and facing the consequences of their choice of being cast out of the Garden of Eden and out of God’s presence, they were told that their Heavenly Father had prepared a Savior for them who was willing to suffer for their sins and give His life so they could have the opportunity to return to God’s presence and feel His great love for them again. They were eager to make covenants with their Father and live their lives by those covenants for the opportunity to have that great blessing.

Ammon, the son of Mosiah, and the prophet Joseph Smith both have beautiful chapters where they praise God in joyful gratitude for His great mercy and longsuffering towards the children of men and His eagerness to forgive us and bless us and bring us home. 

In Alma 26, starting in verse 11, Ammon says: “...behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.” Jumping down to verse 14: “Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell. Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work. Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel. Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state? Behold, we went forth even in wrath, with mighty threatenings to destroy his church. Oh then, why did he not consign us to an awful destruction, yea, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon us, and doom us to eternal despair?....Behold, he did not exercise his justice upon us, but in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting gulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls….Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo....Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.”

What a beautiful tribute to an all-loving, all-powerful, all-merciful Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith also gives witness to the greatness of our God and His gospel and the great blessing we have to be children of God and to know His plan for us in D&C 128:19, 22-23:

“Now, what do we hear in the gospel which we have received? A voice of gladness! A voice of mercy from heaven; and a voice of truth out of the earth; glad tidings for the dead; a voice of gladness for the living and the dead; glad tidings of great joy. How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that bring glad tidings of good things, and that say unto Zion: Behold, thy God reigneth!....Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free. Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!”

God’s plan for His children is amazing, and we can be eternally grateful for His love and wisdom and mercy towards us and His great desire to make a glorious future possible for us. This is the difficult part of our journey towards Godhood, but the blessings we will receive as we press forward and endure to the end will be greater than we could ever imagine. Paul tells us in Romans 8:18 “that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

I know that we have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves each of us dearly and knows what experiences we need to return to live with Him again and have an eternal peace and joy that will never be taken from us. I know that we have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered for all our pain and sins so that we might repent and be forgiven and receive all the blessings God has to bestow on His precious children. I know that we are here on earth to learn, and that the experiences we have will help us become perfected as we turn to the Savior for help and comfort and allow the Spirit to teach us important eternal truths through our sorrows and struggles. I know that we can trust our Father to take care of us and our loved ones, to give us the strength and comfort we need to carry on, and to guide us home to His ever-loving presence. I know that all wrongs in this life can and will be made right through the Atonement and that all wounds will be healed. What a huge blessing this is. My heart is full of gratitude for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for their love and wisdom and mercy and their great patience with me and my weaknesses as I seek to learn and grow and become more like them. I am grateful that They never give up on me, no matter how many times I stumble or fall short. I know that they will take care of me and that they will take care of you. You can trust Them. Give your burdens to the Lord and let Him sustain you during the hard times. Pray for an eternal perspective, to feel joy and peace from the Spirit, and to gain your own testimony that “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28).

D&C 42:61

If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.

And you will always have reason to be grateful and to rejoice. I say these things, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Their Power Is in Their Mouth

I was reading in the book of Revelation the other day, and these words in Revelation 9:17-19 struck me:

17 And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them...and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone.

18 By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths.

19 For their power is in their mouth…

I don't pretend to understand all the symbolism that John uses in the book of Revelation, and I’m sure there are many possible interpretations of these verses, but the meaning that struck me when I read them this time was the power we each have to do good or evil, the Lord’s work or Satan’s work, through the words of our mouths.

This can apply to the words we speak to those we know and love, to the words we speak to acquaintances and strangers, and to the words we speak about others. Through the words of our mouths we have the power to build others up or to tear them down, to lead them to truth or away from it. 

We do a lot of communicating in our lives, especially in this age of social media where our words have the power to go a lot further than to just our immediate acquaintances, and I think sometimes it can be beneficial to take a step back and analyze the words of our mouths and if those words have greater power to bring about harm or good in the world, to serve God’s purposes or to thwart them.

Do our words reflect the charity, patience and forgiveness of the Savior? Do they reflect our knowledge of the infinite worth of each of our Heavenly Father’s children and their potential for greatness, or do we demonize some and promote others whose opinions more closely match ours? 

When we communicate about concerns or disagreements we have with the words or positions of others, do the words we use speak out against evil, or do they speak evil of good, but imperfect people and thwart the good they are working to accomplish by focusing all the attention on the weaknesses we see in them? Are we building people up with our words and celebrating their strengths and the good they are doing, or are we tearing them down and demonizing them for their weaknesses or differences of opinion? Are our words bringing people to Christ and the truths of His gospel or making it more difficult for them to find them? 

I think we would all do well to take a look at the words of our mouths and make sure that in all situations in our lives we are using their power for good and not evil.

Words of Warning--Signs of Love

I love that when you experience troubling emotions you can turn to the Lord for help, and He will help you. I used to do a lot more wallowing when I experienced difficult emotions, or else I would try to use methods of coping with them that were not very effective. My emotions controlled me a lot more than I controlled them. It has been amazing to see the difference now that I have developed the habit of immediately turning to the Lord in prayer as soon as I recognize that I am experiencing emotions that I know do not come from the Spirit. The Lord is actually amazing at helping me see things in a different, more truthful light that changes the way I am feeling about any particular situation, and He is always prompt to do so when I ask.

My most recent experience with this was yesterday when I was studying my patriarchal blessing. This sounds like it would be an uplifting activity, but lately when I’ve studied it, it’s been a little difficult for me to feel the Lord’s love for me through it. The things that stand out to me are all the warnings and cautions, and they make me feel like the Lord sees me as weak, easily tempted and not to be trusted. That’s not how I usually feel about my relationship with the Lord right now in my life though. Lately in my life I’ve been feeling the Spirit guiding me a lot to do different things that bless my life and the lives of others, and I’ve really been feeling like more of a partner with the Savior in doing His work on the earth.

So, generally in my life I feel like the Lord loves me and is pleased with me, and it troubled me that when I read my patriarchal blessing that is not how I felt. I prayed and talked with the Lord about my feelings and asked for His help in being able to see and feel His love for me through my blessing, to know that I am loved and cherished by my Father in Heaven for the good I am trying to accomplish in my life and in the lives of others.

As I prayed and thought about my blessing, it was like the Lord flipped a switch in my brain, and I was suddenly able to see how the words of warning themselves were a sign of my Heavenly Father’s love for me. Heavenly Father wanted to clearly tell me that Satan would try to tempt me and the ways he would do so. He wanted to make sure that when Satan tries to lie to me, I will not be taken in by his lies but will see them for what they are and know that those thoughts and feelings do not come from my Heavenly Father and do not reflect eternal truths. Heavenly Father wants to make sure I understand clearly His expectations of me, the great blessings that will come to me as I keep His commandments, and the methods Satan will use to try to draw me away from Him.

My Heavenly Father knows what information and counsel I need in order to stay strong in the face of adversity and temptation, and He loves me enough to give it to me. Not because He fears I will fail, but because He knows that with an adequate amount of truth and information and an eternal perspective I will have the knowledge and power I need to succeed. The words of warning in my patriarchal blessing are tools given to me by a loving Heavenly Father to help me succeed in my battle against Satan and my own weaknesses. He gives them to me not because He fears I will fail, but because He knows that armed with them I can and will succeed.

I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me so well and loves me enough to give me all the help and support I need to make good choices and make it back to Him. And I am so grateful for the increased light and truth that I can receive from the Lord when I ask that has the power to change my troubling emotions to feelings of peace, love, and hope from the Spirit.

*Note: If you are not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and you are wondering what a “patriarchal blessing” is, here are a couple webpages that kind of explain what they are:

https://www.lds.org/topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/03/about-patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng

The True Source of Joy and Peace

I recently read these verses in Helaman chapter 3 in the Book of Mormon, and something different stood out to me as I read them this time:

Helaman 3:33-35 (Book of Mormon)

33 And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church--not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God--

34 And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.

35 Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

What struck me as the most interesting in these verses is how "the more humble part of the people" who were being persecuted chose to respond in the face of this completely unjustified persecution from other members of Christ's Church. Those being persecuted were completely innocent victims of those persecuting them; the "great evil" done by their persecutors was causing the persecuted to suffer and "to wade through much affliction," all at the hands of those who should have been the most ready to love and support them as fellow disciples of Christ. But the persecutors had succumbed to the weakness of pride and completely lost their way, and the more humble part of the people was suffering for it. 

So what did they do? Did they leave the church of God where they were being treated so poorly by those who professed to follow Christ? Did they lash out at their persecutors? Surprisingly, they resorted to neither of these seemingly justified courses of action. Instead, the scripture says that they turned to the Lord in fasting and prayer in the face of these persecutions, waxing "stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ," which led "to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts" as they "yield[ed] their hearts unto God" and to "the filling [of] their souls with joy and consolation." 

There are a couple of things about these people's response to persecution and its results that I find amazing. The first thing is that when faced with the completely unjust and evil actions of others, the more humble part of the people did not spend their time pointing out the sins of their oppressors, but instead used these difficult circumstances as an opportunity to look inwards, to purify and sanctify their own hearts, to become more Christlike themselves as they suffered these persecutions and to allow the Lord to teach them through their trials. 

The second thing I find amazing is that by purifying and sanctifying their own hearts through fasting and prayer and by yielding their hearts unto God and remaining faithful in the face of bitter persecution, the more humble part of the people found that their faith in Christ grew and that their souls were filled with joy and consolation. NOTHING in their circumstances had changed, but in the midst of their afflictions, they felt joy and consolation. What an amazing gift from the Savior to His long-suffering, faithful followers. 

I have experienced in my own life the joy and peace that comes from yielding my heart unto God. I have seen personally how purifying and sanctifying my own heart through fervent prayer and reliance on the Savior and His Spirit and Atonement can turn my sorrow and suffering into joy and peace, even when nothing in my circumstances has changed. I know the Lord can replace feelings of hurt and suffering with feelings of joy and peace and forgiveness when we turn to Him and seek to find and do His will. I can bear witness of the truth of Christ's words to His disciples in John 14:27:

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

When we choose to follow Christ and take His yoke upon us, we will find indeed that "[His] yoke is easy and [His] burden is light" (Matthew 11:30) and that our hearts need never be troubled or afraid. I bear my personal witness of these things and that Christ is the true source of the joy and peace we seek here and hereafter and that no other creature or circumstance can separate us from Him and the joy and peace He offers all those who faithfully follow Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

As I Have Loved You

I've been trying to figure out what it means to love someone as Christ loves them. Through all my learning over the past couple years, I've realized that my definition of love has some major flaws, and I've been trying to replace it with a more truthful definition and understanding of what it means to love someone in a Christlike way. I read John 15:9-12 the other day, and it added some illumination to the topic for me, or at least some food for thought:

9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

So, Christ has loved us the way the Father has loved Christ. I tried to think about how Heavenly Father showed His love for Christ. He basically sent Him to earth and asked Him to do some really hard things. He taught and strengthened and supported Him as He completed His earthly mission, but when Christ asked, when faced with His ultimate challenge of the atonement, of taking on Him the sins and suffering of all of God's children, that if possible that bitter cup be removed from Him, Heavenly Father did not show His love by removing the burden Christ had to bear. Rather, He sent an angel to strengthen Christ that He might bear it, and asked Him to go forward and complete His earthly mission, despite the extreme personal suffering it caused Him. Heavenly Father knew that Christ had the strength and ability to do what needed to be done, and that all of God's children, including Christ, would be blessed by His willingness to make this sacrifice on their behalf. After Christ's earthly mission was complete, Heavenly Father exalted Christ and gave Him all He had.

It is when we obey God's commandments like Christ did, even when obedience to those commandments requires great personal sacrifice for us, that we will "abide in His love." Christ explains this connection between God's love and how we can access His love through obedience to His commandments "that [Christ's] joy might remain in [us], and that [our] joy might be full." Christ Himself experienced God's love for Him and obtained a fullness of joy as He sacrificed throughout His life to serve God and to accomplish what God sent Him to earth to accomplish. We, likewise, can feel God's love for us and find a fullness of joy in our lives as we sacrifice to serve God and His children and keep His commandments. 

This scripture gives Christ's commandment to love one another as He has loved us, and as Heavenly Father has loved Him, a new meaning for me. We are to love and support and strengthen one other through the trials of this life and help bear one another's burdens, as Heavenly Father helped Christ bear His burdens and how Christ helps us bear ours. If we are to help people fully feel God's love and find a fullness of joy though, we must also help them turn to Christ, teach them of God's commandments, and encourage them to keep them, even if they must sacrifice to do so. That is the path Christ has shown us that will allow us to abide in God's love and receive a fullness of joy. It is the way Heavenly Father showed His love for Christ, the way Christ shows His love for us, and the way we must show love for one another: by teaching God's children His commandments, which He gave us because of His great love for us and His desire to help us reach our full, divine potential, and then supporting and strengthening God's children as they strive to turn to God and follow His commandments, forgiving them freely when they fall short, as Christ forgives us freely, and encouraging them in their continued efforts to carry out God's plan and mission for them in this life and become who He knows they can become, that He might be able to exalt them and give them all He has, and that their joy might be full. So interesting.

Christ's Church

As I mentioned before in this blog, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of the big differences between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and other Christian churches is that we believe that in 1820 Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to a 14 year old boy named Joseph Smith and prepared him over several years to become a prophet of God with the task to restore Christ's Church on the earth in its original form after it had been lost following the death of Christ's apostles that were called during His earthly ministry and the general apostasy of His church that took place afterwards.

Since Christ’s Church was restored in 1830 under Christ’s direction through His prophet Joseph Smith using the power and authority of the priesthood of God given to Joseph Smith by John the Baptist and by Christ’s original apostles Peter, James and John, who received it from Christ Himself during His earthly ministry, there has been an unbroken line of prophets and apostles called by God to lead His church on the earth continuing up until the present day. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is currently led by the prophet and president of the church, Thomas S. Monson, his two counsellors, and twelve apostles, all chosen and directed by God through divine revelation to lead His church and prepare the world for the second coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

For this reason, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not make changes to its policies or doctrine based on the opinions of the world, or even by the opinions of its members; it is Christ’s Church, and revelation on the doctrine and organization of His church comes from Him alone to the people He has called as prophets and apostles to lead His church. 

In order to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you need to have a personal testimony of several things. First, you need to know for yourself that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real, that they live, and that they have a plan for you and for all of Heavenly Father’s children and that through the atonement of Christ you can repent and be washed clean of your sins, overcome your weaknesses, and return to live with God after this life. Second, you need to know for yourself that Joseph Smith was really a prophet called by God to restore Christ’s Church on the earth and that he received priesthood authority from God to perform ordinances such as baptism and marriage that are binding not only on earth, but also in heaven, and that this priesthood authority has been passed down to other worthy members of the church since that time so that all priesthood ordinances performed by worthy priesthood holders in the church are recognized as valid and binding by God. You must also have a personal testimony that the current prophet and apostles who lead the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were also called of God and are being directed by Him in all that they do. 

If you do not know these things for yourself, then there is no reason to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints over other churches, or even to join it at all. If Joseph Smith was a fraud and the current leaders of the church have no claim to any special authority or revelation from God, then you’re wasting your time listening to what they have to say. How can you know for yourself if the teachings of this church are true and that the leaders of the church were and are called by God? That’s where the third member of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost, comes in. It is his job to teach and testify of truth. These are some of the things Christ told His apostles about the Holy Ghost in the New Testament:

John 14:16-17

"16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; 

17 Even the Spirit of truth..."

John 14:26

"26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."

John 15:26

"26 But when the Comforter is come...even the Spirit of truth, which procedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me"

John 16:13

"13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth"

The prophet Moroni also spoke of the mission of the Holy Ghost at the end of the Book of Mormon:

Moroni 10:4-5

"4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Through sincere study and prayer, the Holy Ghost can give you your own personal witness that God is there, that the Bible and the Book of Mormon contain His words, that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s Church restored to the earth again and led by Christ Himself through the servants He has chosen to lead it.

I know for myself, through the power of the Holy Ghost, that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do live, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s Church, and that the current prophet and apostles who lead the Church were chosen by God and receive revelation from Him to guide His Church on the earth today. I know that they are humble, righteous men who sincerely seek to know God’s will in all things and direct His Church according to His will. I know that they are concerned for the salvation of all of God’s children and feel the weight of their great responsibility to teach and testify of Christ and His gospel and the path that will lead us all back to our Father in Heaven. 

There are some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who question the leadership of the Church and the choices they make, such as only allowing men to hold offices in the priesthood or opposing same-sex marriage. Whenever I read their complaints and critiques, I think of the leaders of the Church, and I immediately feel peace, knowing that the decisions that they make are made “in all righteousness, in holiness, and lowliness of heart, meekness and long-suffering, and in faith, and virtue, and knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and charity” (D&C 107:30). 

What I find much more interesting than questioning if the leaders of the Church are really carrying out God’s will or not, since I have a personal testimony that they are, is wondering why it is important to God’s plan that only men hold offices in the priesthood right now or that marriage only be between a man and a woman. Why did God set things up that way? Why are these things important to Him? So often we tend to make something an issue between us and other mortals, when the real person who made the decision and could answer our questions is God Himself. 

One thing I really like about the book Spiritual Lightening by M. Catherine Thomas that I have been reading, is that these are the kinds of questions she ponders and addresses: why might God have set things up this way? I’m not saying that her conclusions are doctrine, but I like the questions she is asking and the thoughts she shares on some of the topics that a lot of people struggle to understand, particularly on the issue of the relationship between men and women and the difference in their responsibilities.

In discussing the story of Adam and Eve, Thomas says, 

“Eve’s being placed in a counseling role to her husband, far from being a punishment, was a sacred tutorial designed to sanctify both of them. 

How could a counseling position be a sanctifying position? The very fact that the Lord put Eve in a counseling role with Adam acknowledges eternal woman’s great ability to do what needs doing. But her divine, developmental need is to act within a relationship, taking into account Adam’s need to be part of that relationship. Each had need of the relationship—it was not good for the man [or the woman] to be alone—he needed her and she needed him. The man and the woman had become like God, and now, even though they rejoiced in the opening of their eyes and their prospects of joy (see Moses 5:10–11), they had need not to compete for ascendancy but to console each other in their mutual loss of paradise and their mutual quest to attain exaltation. 

The issue here is not who is more capable, men or women, but who will do the work God has appointed. If the presiding role of priesthood is withheld from women, it is not because they could not do the work of priesthood—that they are not spiritual enough, not intelligent enough, or not rational enough—but rather to foster the conditions in which the man and the woman may achieve interdependence. 

What makes all of this so hard in practice? It may seem unfair that the man is subject to a perfect head (the Lord Jesus Christ), and the woman is presided over by an imperfect head (her husband). But how much humility the man must cultivate to hear the Lord’s voice! And how much humility the woman must exercise to encourage and rely on her imperfect husband to make that connection! The man’s presidency over the woman is designed to be as much a tutorial for him as it is for the woman as she submits to his presidency. A very fine tuning is required of each."

She goes on later to discuss further the idea of the relationships in our lives being there to perfect and sanctify us:

"We see that the Lord has given us the challenge of not only perfecting ourselves individually but also perfecting ourselves in relationships. Perfecting oneself in a relationship cannot be separated from personal perfecting. 

As to perfecting ourselves in a relationship, it is easy for us to live for a good many years on the assumption that we have a right to be satisfied by life events and by the people in our lives. This is a precept of man. If we continue all the way through this life with that assumption, we will have failed to learn what we came here to learn and will have failed to develop some personal essentials. We will never obtain the essential divine nature and can never be exalted until we know and practice the truth. One important truth is that our husbands, our wives, and our children were not given to us to satisfy us, and nor were many of the most important events of our lives. To the world, love is a relationship in which the parties involved satisfy each other enough that they can call that relationship “love.” But this is not love at all—it is just self-serving. 

We can tell that our love is often based on the degree to which another person satisfies us: If they don’t satisfy us, we criticize them. It seems to me that most criticism is saying, “In these ways, this person does not satisfy my expectations as to what he should be.” But our expectations are a function of the finite mind, the telestial and selfish mind, not the mind of God....

 We stand in a sacred relationship to the people in our lives, especially family, because they are not there by chance. The people in our lives were placed there not only for us to enjoy but also to cross us and to dissatisfy us from time to time so that we can learn that love is not a matter of personal satisfaction but a going out of our hearts to empathize with, to understand, and to try to bless the other, giving up the demand of the natural man for satisfaction—to love the other, to forgive the other, to cease to demand that the other satisfy us, and to seek to be able to bless that person. Relationships were given to us to develop us in love."

Thomas ends this chapter on "Women, Priesthood, and the At-One-Ment" with the following:

"The point of putting the woman in a counseling role to the man is that as both of them strive for something higher than themselves, their relationship will not founder in a power struggle but will flower in mutual support and in spiritual growth for each. The point of giving priesthood authority to only one of two imperfect people is to create interdependence and at-one-ment between them. The point of the Adam and Eve relationship is to return the man and the woman to at-one-ment before the Lord. Thus we can foil the powers that seek to tear the man and woman asunder."

Whether or not you agree with all of Thomas's conclusions, I really like her insights as she ponders the reasons God gave men and women different roles and responsibilities. I have thought before of the importance of there being some things only women can do (e.g. give birth to children) and some things only men can do (e.g. administer priesthood ordinances) in order to create a sense of interdependence in the relationship that helps draw a couple together as they rely on each other in their mutual quest for exaltation. 

We need each other, and we have a lot of learning and serving to do, and Christ set up families and His Church in such a way to help us do just that: to learn and serve and become like God as we each fulfill the unique roles and responsibilities required of us by God. He counsels and directs us in all wisdom and love, and I am grateful that He knows what I need to be perfected and sanctified that I might return to Him one day and receive a fulness of joy. I know I have a long way to go, but I also know that He is committed to getting me there and that He will give me all the tools and experiences I need to achieve exaltation if I choose it. I also know that the same is true for each of God's children, and I am so grateful for that truth.

Truth Is Independent of Feelings

Truth is independent of feelings.

This has been a hard-won truth for me. For the last year or so, I have been battling a lot of feelings and emotions that have clouded my vision and kept me from seeing my life and relationships clearly and truthfully. There were times that I felt very loved in certain relationships and times when I felt very unloved. The truth that people loved me remained constant, but sometimes I could feel that love and sometimes I couldn't, but whether I could feel it or not did not change the truth that they loved me, just my ability to perceive it. I had a lot of false beliefs and unrealistic expectations of how someone who loved me would think or feel or speak or act that were causing a disconnect for me between the truth of other people's love for me and my ability to feel that love. Once I worked through a lot of those false ideas, it became so much easier for me to see and feel the truth of other people's love for me. 

This experience has taught me that there is often a disconnect between truth and our feelings, that truth is independent of how we might feel at any given moment. Feelings are real, but they are very often not a reflection of truth. For example, sometimes we might feel that we are of great worth, while at other times we might feel completely worthless. It is not the truth of our innate worth as a person or as a child of God that is flip-flopping from one minute to the next; it is only our ability to feel that we are of worth that is changing. It is the same when we have times when we feel that our life is hopeless; that is a real feeling, but it does not reflect truth. When we push through the hard feelings, we will discover the truth that there is still a lot of hope and joy in our future, especially as we draw on the healing and strength that is available to us through Christ's atonement.

We can explain things in our heads in all sorts of different ways that capture varying amounts of the truth and make us feel all sorts of different ways. It really is a gift from God and an amazing ability God has to see things "as they really are" in an eternal perspective rather than through the variety of lenses we use to see and interpret the world around us here on earth. How we explain things to ourselves is so important because it influences how we feel and how we act. Satan loves for us to believe explanations of the world or of others that lead us to make choices that are destructive to ourselves and/or to others.

Our underlying beliefs and thought patterns cannot change truth, but they can have a huge effect on how we feel. I think a lot of God's counsel and teachings are to help us see our life, circumstances and relationships in a more eternal, truthful way. For example, when someone does or says something that hurts us, we can choose to dwell on that temporary hurt and see and treat that person as that one action (a very incomplete and untruthful image of anyone) and ourselves as a victim of that action, or we can choose to follow God's commandment and forgive that person and let go of the hurt and focus instead on the eternal truth that Christ paid for both their unChristlike action and the pain we experienced because of it and because of that that person can learn and change and be forgiven and we can be healed of the hurt their imperfections caused us. 

I feel like in today’s world, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on people's feelings determining who they are or what truth is, and I think this is a very dangerous trend that is drawing people further and further away from eternal truths. Society seems to be subscribing more and more to the philosophy, “if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. If it feels good, do it.” If you aren’t feeling fulfilled in your marriage, then get out. If you love someone and want to have sex with them, then do it. If trying to keep God’s commandments is hard and makes you feel bad or guilty sometimes, then stop trying. God loves you and wants you to feel happy all the time, so if trying to keep His commandments doesn’t make you feel happy, then you don’t need to worry about them; they obviously don’t apply to you. God will love you no matter what you do. Do what feels good to you and makes you happy.

Satan is so good at twisting truth. Of course God wants you to be happy. Of course God will love you no matter what you do. But there is more to it than that. God’s goal is not for you just to be happy in the moment: God’s goal is for you to have the maximum amount of joy possible for eternity. God will love you no matter what you do, but He also knows that some actions you choose will lead you to the eternal joy He wants for you and some actions you choose will not. His love for you and His desire for your eternal happiness is what leads Him to give His children commandments, to tell them the truth about what choices they need to make to achieve their divine potential, become like Him and enjoy the joy and peace He enjoys. The truth is that some things that will bring us eternal joy can also be very, very difficult and cause us a lot of heartache, discomfort and suffering in the moment. That’s where faith comes in.

God’s knowledge of eternal truths is much, much greater than ours. We are blinded in many ways by the fallen world we live in and the feelings and temptations that come with imperfect, mortal bodies. Many of our natural inclinations and feelings do not align with eternal truths. Our job here on earth is to learn to master our bodies and the thoughts and emotions that come with them, not just let them sweep us along here or there. We have the power to determine our destiny, what we do and who we become, and God teaches us how to use that power wisely. 

It takes a lot of faith and trust in God to follow His words when it goes against how we are feeling. When someone hurts us, turning the other cheek is not what we feel like doing. Neither is loving, blessing, doing good to, or praying for people who curse, hate, or persecute us. But God asks us to master our emotions and act in a Christlike manner towards all of His children, no matter how they choose to treat us at any given moment. He knows the eternal truth that each person is His child with the potential to become like Him, no matter how far they still have to go to get there. Through Christ’s atonement, all God’s children can repent and change, no matter how many mistakes they have made on their mortal journey or how many people they have hurt. The atonement paid for all that, and God asks us to treat all of His children with love and forgiveness as they grow and learn, one small step at a time, doing all sorts of wrongs in the meantime that they have no way of making right, but that Christ has chosen to take on Himself so that He can give forgiveness and relief from sins and their consequences to all who choose to follow Him and accept the gift of His atonement.

Our innate worth and divine potential as children of God is real and eternal, no matter how we feel about ourselves or how others may feel about us at any given moment. God has also revealed that “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” and that “the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the Word” https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng). Whatever our feelings may be, these are real and eternal truths that God has revealed to His prophets to help us clearly understand His plan for His children and what choices and actions will allow us to reach our divine potential and help others reach theirs. The blessings that come from keeping God's commandments are real and eternal, whether it feels difficult to keep them or not.

Only God is able to see all things as they truly were, are and will be, which is why He asks us to trust Him and submit to His will, even when our feelings make us want to make other choices. When we humble ourselves, trust God, and strive to align our will with His, praying to see things as He sees them, and committing to act according to our knowledge of the truths He has and will reveal to us personally or through His prophets, we will be able to see through the dark swirling mists of our unhelpful feelings to the light and truth He has to show us. And once we see things in the more truthful light of God's eternal perspective, then we will feel the feelings of peace, love and joy that come when we have the Holy Ghost with us.

I can testify from personal experience that your feelings and perspective change as you become converted unto the Lord and become one with Him. It can be a very slow, grueling process, with many setbacks and many false beliefs to discover and tackle one by one, each with tons of unhelpful, excruciating feelings attached that make it so hard to see and hold on to the truth. When you keep pressing on in your pursuit of truth and don't give up though, God will continue to teach you "line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little," as you are prepared to receive it. 

I am so grateful for those who have been kind and patient and forgiving with me as I have gone through my learning processes, and I hope to be able to extend the same love, kindness, and compassion to others as they wrestle with their own painful emotions and false beliefs, seeking truth. I know God is there to help each of us on each step of our journey back to Him and that He will never give up on us, no matter how long it takes us to come to trust Him and make the tough sacrifices He asks us to make so that we can become like Him and receive the blessings He is eagerly waiting to shower upon us. The cool thing is, that the things we think we have to have to be happy that God is asking us to give up (these are different for each person) are actually not the key to our happiness at all. God knows the key, and when we trust Him enough to do what He asks even when it's hard, we will discover that He was right all along and that the sacrifices we make that we thought meant giving up happiness actually open the door to true, lasting happiness and peace. 

I am so grateful for a kind, wise Heavenly Father who is so patient with me as I make mistakes, learn, and slowly come to trust Him and for His willingness to help me replace my false beliefs and the painful emotions that come with them with truths that bring increased peace and joy into my life.