My Identity as a Mother

I was having a conversation with someone about how many children we were planning to have. The person I was having the conversation with has two children and feels like that is the right number for their family. This made me think about what it would be like to be done having children at this point, with only Sam and Grace. Thinking about this made me realize that I am definitely, 100%, NOT ready to be done having children.

Ted and I were already planning on having more children, but I didn't realize how strongly I felt about it until this experience. I just got used to my identity as a mother of small children, and I am not ready to give it up yet. I can't imagine just having these two kids that just keep getting older so fast, forcing me to reinvent myself again way sooner than I am ready for. I don't want them to grow up and become all independent and have to go back and get a job again! No thanks!

I complain a lot about the challenges of being a stay-at-home mom, but there are a lot of things I really love about it as well, and I realized I have become pretty attached to this stage of life. So, even though there are drawbacks to starting over again and again each time a new baby comes along and losing the newfound freedom you’ve gained as your children get older and become a little more independent, I am not ready to give up my critical role as a mother of infants and small children. Having more kids is definitely the right choice for me at this stage of my life, and it's comforting to know that, even as I wonder how on earth I will manage to care for a third child on top of the two I already have. People do it though, so it must be possible. And I now know that that is definitely the life I want for myself, despite the challenges it will bring. So I will go forward with faith, trusting that the Lord will give me the strength and wisdom I need to succeed.