A friend of mine just became a life coach and was offering free life coaching sessions during the month of December so she could practice. I signed up because, why not? I’m always up for some new insights on how I can live my life better and be happier. And that was exactly what this life coaching session delivered.
When asked to pick the topic of our life coaching session (either something I wanted to accomplish or something I am currently struggling with), I said that I struggle to manage feelings of frustration well and that I would like to be better at disciplining my children without anger. My friend had me describe a recent situation with my children where I had felt frustrated and disciplined in an angry rather than calm way. I shared an experience I had had with Sam earlier that day.
My friend then taught me some truths that I have found extremely helpful. She said that what I need to realize is that the circumstances themselves are always neutral: what’s happening in my life, what my children or others are choosing to do—all that is neutral. It is my thoughts about the circumstances in my life that create the emotions that I experience. It’s not the circumstance—which is something I can’t control—it’s how I choose to think about the circumstance that leads to the feelings I have about it, which leads to my actions, which leads to the results of those actions.
Realizing this has really been a game changer for me. It’s empowering to realize that no matter what choices anyone else makes or what circumstances I’m in, I’m the one in control of how I think, and therefore how I feel, about the situation at hand. I don’t need anyone else to behave in any particular way for things to be okay—I just need to think about things in a positive way, which will trigger positive emotions and lead to more desirable actions and outcomes.
This may sound overly simplistic, and I admit I have no idea how well it does or doesn’t work when you’re dealing with actual tragedies in your life, but in dealing with the ups and downs of a normal day, I have found it to be super effective. Whenever I start feeling negative emotions, I remind myself that nothing is actually bad—it’s just the way I’m choosing to think that is causing me to feel negative emotions. When I switch to positive thoughts about what is going on and focus on the good things about the moment I’m in, not worries about the past or future or other things I can’t control, I find that life is actually very good, and I have so many things to be grateful for and so many reasons to be happy. It’s awesome! I have so much more control over my emotions and over making my life good and happy than I thought I did. It’s all in the way I choose to think about things. So amazing!
I love learning new things that actually make a difference in the way, I think, act, and experience the world. It continues to astound me how powerful our thoughts are and what a difference it makes when we gain more knowledge and come to see things in a more truthful way. Nothing in my circumstances has changed except my thoughts, and yet by changing my thoughts everything has changed. I feel like a different person, with so much more power over my life, actions, and emotions. It’s amazing! Hooray for knowledge and change and life coaching! It definitely changed my life for the better, and I’m so grateful.
