With all the discussions on gender these days, I’ve been pondering the differences between male and female. I feel like the feminist argument is that the only difference between males and females is the difference in sexual reproduction equipment. All other differences are social constructs that should not be imposed on people. Besides in the category of body parts, males and females are exactly the same and should be treated exactly the same.
On the other hand, you have the transgender dialogue which says that there is something besides your sexual reproductive organs that makes you male or female. This seems to run counter to the feminist argument. According to feminism, there is nothing abnormal about being a girl who likes trucks or a boy who likes dolls, for example; it’s just society pushing girls in one direction and boys in another, not anything innately different in the nature of boys and girls. The transgender argument, however, seems to say that if you identify with things that society says are more traditionally things associated with members of the opposite gender, like if you are a boy that enjoys dressing up and wearing makeup, for example, then you are not just a boy that likes things society says that only girls should like, but instead you may be a female trapped in the physical body of a male, suggesting that there are internal differences of some sort between males and females, not just outward physical differences. Somehow it seems that the same people subscribe to both these arguments, even though they seem to contradict one another.
One thing I’ve found interesting about the personal stories of transgender individuals that I’ve read (these stories are of individuals who were born with male body parts but who feel that they may really be female) is the level of importance they place on their desire to dress up and look pretty. In their stories, that desire seems to be emphasized as a core part of their transgender identity, or their identity as female rather than male.
What I find interesting about this is that I am a female, but I do not consider dressing up and looking pretty as a core part of my identity. It's something I do occasionally because society expects it of me, but it is not something I enjoy doing or that I feel is an important part of my identity. I don't feel like that makes me any less female though. It makes me less stereotypical female, but not less core identity female. I think there are women for whom dressing up and looking pretty is a core part of their female identity, but I am not one of them. (I have a suspicion that this may be influenced by whether or not dressing up and looking pretty is a core part of your mother’s female identity, meaning that it is something learned, not something innate, but I don't know for sure.)
This begs the question, if we lived in a time and place and class of society in which dressing up in fancy clothes and wigs was acceptable for men, would these transgender individuals feel more comfortable in their male identity? Or is their focus on dressing up in female clothes and wearing makeup merely an outward manifestation of other inward gender differences that are simply more difficult to express and less noticeable/unacceptable to other members of society? What does it really mean to be male or to be female, outside of stereotypes that society tells us we should expect from each gender? That is the million dollar question, I guess. And I don't have an answer. Just musings.
If my personal female identity is not defined by female stereotypes such as liking shoes, purses, jewelry, makeup, clothing, shopping, scented candles and lotion, facials, interior decorating, and arts and crafts, what is it defined by? Having breasts and a vagina? That does seem to be a significant part of it. The fact that because of the body I was born with my responsibilities include pregnancy and breastfeeding? That also seems to be a pretty significant part of my identity as a female. Attached to that, a sense of the importance of my responsibility to teach and nurture my children? That is definitely a huge part of my current female identity. The fact that in order to sexually reproduce I must marry a man? That was actually a somewhat troubling fact for me in my youth since I was not especially impressed with the male population I observed around me; luckily, I found a Ted :)
I feel like most of my personal identity as a female is tied to the way my body functions and the unique responsibilities I have because of that. Perhaps also my female friendships and the common struggles we have to deal with our emotions, form meaningful relationships, find someone to marry, have and raise children, and find meaning in our lives. Gender identity seems so straightforward when you are not someone who struggles with gender dysphoria, which I think is why it is such a difficult struggle to understand for those who don't experience it. I am female because my body is female. I don't have to do anything to qualify for the female group except have the body I was born with, which lends itself to certain strictly female activities, such as menstruation, childbearing and breastfeeding. I have these things in common with other females, either the reality of them, the memory of them, the hope of them in the future, or the grief for the lack of them. These are the things that form in large part my female identity. I'm not sure what it means to be female outside of those physical aspects and all that comes with them, unless we're talking about some of the more superficial stereotypes, most of which don't apply to me. Those are some of my musings on being female.
