Because we met as fellow teachers in a "no dating allowed" volunteer English teaching program in Moscow, Russia, Ted and I got to know each other very well as friends before we ever considered having a dating relationship. Long before I knew I was romantically interested in him, I knew Ted was the kind of person that would be an amazing husband and father and a very safe person to marry. He was humble, honest, dependable, service-oriented, and cared a lot about people. Once I decided I was romantically interested in him (he had to decide first - my personal credo was don't bother liking a boy until you know he likes you - it saves you a lot of heartache and wasted time that way), I never had to think twice about whether or not I wanted to marry him. I already knew the kind of person he was, and I knew it was the kind of person who would never stop loving and caring for me and my children. So, I married him, and he's been proving me right ever since.
I'm pretty sure I was born to be married; marriage is pretty much the best thing ever, as far as I'm concerned. It helps if you're married to someone as awesome as Ted. We never really went through a difficult transition stage: marriage was just better, better than being single, better than dating, better than being engaged. We've definitely faced challenges as a married couple, most notably financial challenges, but we get to face them together and learn from and about each other in the process. Marriage teaches us about our individual weaknesses and how they affect others and helps push us to do better, to be better, to become more selfless. Marriage is someone knowing you and all your weaknesses and loving you anyway, because they can also see all your strengths and your potential. Marriage is just awesome.
Before we had our son Sam, I'd read that bringing a child into the mix can put a strain on a couple's relationship. I wanted to make sure that Ted and I could keep our marriage strong as we added children to our family. It turns out I needn't have worried. So far, becoming parents has only brought us closer together. Ted says that he loves me even more now that I'm a mother, and I've found a million more reasons to love and appreciate Ted as I've seen him care for and interact with our son in his role as a father. Ted says he expected that a child would be a lot of hard work, but worthwhile, but he didn't know that he would love our child so much. He says that Sam brings so much joy to his life. I love how much my husband loves me and how much he loves our son; it makes the hard parts of parenting so much easier. Ted doesn't just love Sam when he is happy and cute; he also loves him when he is crying hysterically for no reason. You might think that babies are always easy to love, but they're not. Sometimes you want to tell them, hey, I'm doing a lot for you; you better just buck up and be happy, but Ted's not like that. I'm so grateful for him and for his example and that I have such a wonderful partner to parent with.
I feel like by becoming parents, Ted and I have arrived at the crux of God's Plan of Salvation. This is what it's all for: everything I've learned and done in my life has been preparing me for this moment, for this great undertaking of bringing another of God's children into the world to get a physical body and to learn and grow until he is ready to do the same, and the cycle goes on and on, each generation preparing the next generation to take on this great responsibility of bringing children into the world, teaching them to make good choices, and preparing them for the day when they will also be parents and have a profound influence on someone else's life and the kind of person that child grows up to be. Each generation teaching the next what they need to do to gain salvation and to help others attain that same eternal goal.
Only, I feel like my generation has forgotten that they have this responsibility. Most of the people I know from high school are putting off marriage and children longer and longer, if they have any plans to go in that direction at all. The focus is all on "me," "my" needs, "my" wants, who cares about the next generation? Marriage is overrated, and kids aren't all that convenient. HELLO! Marriage and kids is what it is ALL about! Forming strong families who can love and support each other through the trials of life and who can grow and learn together how to be better and how to become more like God is what it's all about. That's the purpose of this life. That's where the true, lasting joy comes from. Sure, keeping a marriage together and raising kids is hard. All things that are worth doing are hard. And marriage and children is so worth it! I'm still just barely getting into this stage of my life, but I am already learning so much and becoming better and more like my Savior as I try to be the kind of wife and mother that God wants me to be, knows I can be, with His help. I wouldn't trade my little family for anything, and I'm so grateful that by following God's plan I have the opportunity to keep them forever.
